Yes that’s right, ladies and gentlemen, I have proof that you’re not a douchebag.

I shall do so in the following manner. Say there’re four dots on a table cloth. They might work out to be 4 dots/m^{2.} Now, if that table cloth were infinitely large, then there would be 0 dots/m^{2.} No matter how many dots there were on the table cloth, those dots would be finite in number, which compared to the infinite size of the table cloth means that the number of dots per meter squared is 0, or so close to 0 that it may as well be 0.

Well, I now present to you, the infinite level of douchebag. Apparently, this guy talked to a girl briefly at a bar, she gave him a phone number and said, “Call me some time”:

You, as possessing a finite amount of douchebagness, have so little compared to this guy as to be not worth mentioning. QED.