This is an old post I found lying about; figured I’d publish it

Fuck. I don’t think it’s parody.

Apparently McDonalds is supporting “sexual perversions”. Yeah, they’re part of the Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. I agree - crazy sounding group, no question. But, sexual perversion?

Here’s an article I dug up. (“dug”… it was actually the first hit on Google)

Sure, there’re some crazy-ass things in the “article” (if it can so be called that):

A spokesman for McDonald’s restaurants says those who oppose same-sex “marriage” are motivated by hate.

Notice the scarequotes on marriage.

Earlier this month, the American Family Association (AFA) called for a boycott of the hamburger giant because of the company’s promotion of the homosexual agenda.

Homosexual agenda? Is that like the gay mafia?

And those are just the first two lines of the “article” (if it can so be called that).

Scariest shit? The first comment:

“Scripture teaches Christians to love God and to hate sin, which is how homosexuality is depicted in both the Old and New Testaments. However, from a practical perspective, a national chain that promotes homosexuality, probably also hires homosexuals. Thus, as a practical precaution to avoid possible infection from the HIV/AIDS virus, stay away from McDonalds restaurants. Call it a boycott or call it practical concern for personal and family health, but stay away!”

Bolding my own.

Sure, debate the value of gay marriage if you insist, at least there MIGHT be a halfway reasonable stance in there - but we’re talking about the facts of disease transmission here. Come on dude, if you tell the guy behind the counter you want lots of special sauce between your buns, you should realize he’s having anal intercourse with you pretty fast. Short of that, what are you doing to pick up HIV from some burger flipper? Playing vampire? Chug the spit? Eating human flesh?

I guess HIV is sort of like anthrax or the plague, except it only affects gay people and is transmitted by “gaywaves”, which is like spreading by air, water, and telepathy ALL AT ONCE. Who knew?

Most of the comments are slight variations on this theme. I figured it was all a parody, until I saw just how MANY of them there were!

God gave us the reproductive organs he did for a reason. A male and female’s organs compliment each others because they were made for each other. THAT is natural. I can put my hand through drywall. That doesn’t mean that it is natural to do so (or, meant to be) Neither is sex between two of the same gender.

Biology through a comparison to drywall? Really? That’s the best you could come up with? Really? Are you sure? What about painting drywall? What’s the biological analogy there? Or was he talking about fisting? I’m not really sure…

So… I think I’m gonna stay away from the US… it generally seems crazier down there.

From the “news site“‘s “Prohibited Activities”

Neither AFN content, nor any links to OneNewsNow.com, may be posted on any website, transmitted through any electronic delivery system (i.e. “email”), or published in any print publication that engages in any of the following:

* Any behavior or speech, or advocacy of any behavior or speech that, in the sole opinion of the management of the American Family News Network, is contrary to biblical standards of morality (Example: encouraging sex outside of marriage);
* Crazyass Assload More Restrictions

Yeah… I’d like to see them cite precedent prohibiting one from LINKING to another site.

Here’s their shitty ass policy!

And remember everyone! Have sex early and often!