This guy deserves a lot of pity….

It’s also an excellent cautionary tale…

In other, less creepy news…. Wikipedia is nearly as accurate as the Encyclopaedia Britannica

I’m not sure if that’s a complement to Wikipedia or an insult to the Encyclopaedia Britannica, but, good job to wikipedia anyway. This is probably the first time it’s been shown that large groups can be less dumb than individuals.

…but in the middle of finals.

If I don’t find time between now and christmas for a meaningful post, I will after christmas.

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs.” “Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart. “Two dogs, please,” says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their “dogs.”

The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously: “What part did you get?

Hey, this is from an MSN conversation, I could convert it into paragraph format, but why?

Mona says: what happens at a doctors apt.,.. Mona says: i havent had one in a long long time Binks says: lol Binks says: well, they tell you your appointment’s at, say, 2:00 Binks says: so, you get there five minutes early Binks says: then, you come in, tell the receptionist what your’e there for, then you sit in a waiting room Binks says: in this waiting room there will be loud, crying children, people coughing and hacking over each other, and extremely old magazines Mona says: hahah Binks says: after about 35 minutes sitting there, the nurse will call your name Binks says: you’ll think to yourself “Now I’m getting somewhere!” Binks says: you’ll be led into a smaller room Binks says: you may think that this is an examinatiion room. You are only partly right. This is really a much smaller waiting room, one in which people happen to be examined Binks says: after being in there for 15 minutes you’ll finally have a doctor come in, holding your file, and say, “So, what’re we here for today?” Mona says: haha Binks says: I have never been able to figure out what the “we” in that sentence is referring to, but no matter, you’ve been seen by a doctor, victory is near! Binks says: you’ll tell the doctor of your problem, they’ll tell you to take off your shirt, they’ll place a very cold stethescope on pretty well any exposed flesh and ask you to breathe in and out Binks says: no matter what the problem is, the breathing is always done Mona says: haah! Binks says: they’ll say things like “hmmm” and “deep breath” Binks says: and, maybe even “mmhmmm” by some of the more liberal physitions Mona says: haha Binks says: they’ll then sit on a stool in front of a desk, look at you with their best doctor look, and tell you what you already know about your condition Binks says: they’ll then pull out thier perscription sheets, because in our overmedicated society it’s expected, write down some gibberish that you’ll be luckey if your pharmacist can read, tell you to get that filled, and you’ll be on your way Binks says: you’ll then be back the next week because of the sickness you picked up in the waiting room Binks says: then you’ll be good to go for the next few years!

For those of you who don’t know, I’m in a computer science class.

This means that I’m in the Math and Computer building (MC) for part of my days.

Today, of all days, I noticed something.

It’s late in the semester, students have been away from home for a few months now, and midterms are just over with. That means that people, obviously, aren’t meeting dietary requirements.

Math and computer students, because of the difficulty of their programs, especially.

This became shockingly obvious to me in the most unlikely of places.

I was in the washroom, waiting for a stall. In this particular washroom, on this particular floor, there are three such stalls. When I came in, all three were occupied. 5 minutes later, the same 3 were occupied by the same three people. Wow. One of them must’ve taken pity on me or something, because a stall cleared out! I rushed in to relieve myself. By the time I emerged, the other two had STILL not moved from their births. In fact, a quick glance at the stalls revealed what appeared to be homework spread about. How long do you figure you’ll be when you pull out HOMEWORK in a public stall?

I’m thinking that I should be suggesting, on the basis of human rights, that all bran bars be handed out in all mathematics and computer classes. For the rights of those held captive by their poopie, and those whose poopie is held captive waiting for a stall.

Maybe I should CC: the UN on this one too, they seem to be gung-ho about human rights… Besides, I’m sure a few people actually work at the UN, and they know what it does to one’s diet, I can see it now: Blue bullet-proof vested UN solders descending from helicoptors to rush into the math and computer buildings (and the engineering buildings too, lest the mathies resist the reforms to their gastromic goof, their dietary debacle, and decide to temporarilly relocate), seeing the effects of malnutrition, asking for the world’s help with stopping this starvation….

Hey, I like free food; if this is what it takes to get it than so be it!

One has to wonder about the realities of the universe someitmes. My philosophy class forces it sometimes.

You see, you go into class, and then hear about these inane theories. That gives you a lot of time to think about something else. After about a month, you run out of ideas for dinners you’re not actually going to cook anyway, and instead have to go about thinking about the universe.

I think I see now what those religious nuts are saying. There is some sense to the argument that god was the “first mover” of the universe. Or, at least, the first BOWEL mover….

I think that God farted out the universe.

Think about it!

At the big bang, the universe, which was gasious and extremely hot, rapidly expanded from (many scientists believe) a BLACK HOLE.

After a period of time, it cooled (just as farts do) and began to form into larger chunks of matter. (NOTE: If I were a more fundamentallist religious person, i’d have to give more credit to God, and in fact say that we were formed from one of those jucey-sorta-chunkey poopie farts, because god would’ve had to have started matter grouping)

On some of those chunks of matter, the building blocks of life were found and then they combined. Well, whatever I fart out is gas that has hung out with a whole heck of a lot of stuff that WAS living and has since been broken down; it only makes sense that the building blocks of life were there.

So then, after all that, mankind evolved.

I went to a Catholic school, so I learned a fair bit about all this stuff, and one of the things that I learned was that one of the things that makes mankind special is the way that he can, in limited ways, immitate god. So, next time you feel like saying a prayer to the great creator, eat some beans, go over to a friends house, and let him say, “Holy Shit!” for you. It’s easier, and still lets God know people are thinking about him.

My theory also helps explain why there’s evil in the universe. God isn’t paying attention. He had to leave his farting ways behind so he could get with Mary, and hasn’t been back since.