Yes that’s right, ladies and gentlemen, I have proof that you’re not a douchebag.

I shall do so in the following manner. Say there’re four dots on a table cloth. They might work out to be 4 dots/m^2. Now, if that table cloth were infinitely large, then there would be 0 dots/m^2. No matter how many dots there were on the table cloth, those dots would be finite in number, which compared to the infinite size of the table cloth means that the number of dots per meter squared is 0, or so close to 0 that it may as well be 0.

Well, I now present to you, the infinite level of douchebag. Apparently, this guy talked to a girl briefly at a bar, she gave him a phone number and said, “Call me some time”:

You, as possessing a finite amount of douchebagness, have so little compared to this guy as to be not worth mentioning. QED.

The data, made public on Wednesday, showed that between 2.6 and 5.2 per cent of the links that make up Bell’s network in Ontario and Quebec experienced congestion between March 2007 and April 2008.

So; that’s 2.6-5.2% “of the links” “experienced congestion”.

“Experienced Congestion” just means is that AT SOME POINT throughout the month, a GRAND TOTAL (not a simultaneous total) of 5.2 percent of the links were congested.

“Of the links” is another fun phrase - are they talking ultra-high-end fiber lines, or something barely-faster-than-dialup? Well, no one demanded Bell keep their numbers quiet - they had to demand that Bell actually release some numbers. Therefore, I’m wagering that Bell released as little as possible, knowing that if we saw all the numbers we’d know they were full of shit.

Are “Teh T00bz” clogged? It sure looks like the answer is “no”.

More from CBC, or every tech-oriented news site (even Slashdot is covering it)

CNet has an article about a guy whose hobby is poking holes in social networks.

“Top Friends” apparently is leaking personal info like a sieve, along with “Super Wall” (Which apparently Zuckerberg uses… shudder).

Of course, those are just some “top 10” applications with trouble - since everything runs on private servers, and the hardest thing developers have to do to qualify is fill in a captcha, I think this problem is bigger then any of us want to know.

Apparently it’s real. I haven’t heard the audio yet in the video (at work now), but here’s a link for more information.

I gotta say, before I saw this I never understood it. The only stuff I’ve really seen Jack in were some, “I’m old and funny” films and The Shining (which is just him going crazy in the background… an alright flick, but he’s about as significant in that movie as the zombies are in Shawn Of The Dead - they need to be there to move the story along; but they’re not really the focus)

I thought this comment on Slashdot about how Bell is finally being made to justify their traffic shaping struck me as funny: (previously, Bell argued that they couldn’t explain why they had to do it for “competitive reasons”)

Considering one of their supposed traffic shaping methods is deep packet inspection, the ‘competitive reason’ would be they’d be sued till their arms and legs were bloody stumps and they were just rolling around on the street while angry former customers beat them with shovels. Thus allowing the likes of Rogers to get the upper hand.