Act One: Crap. Crap. Crap.
Currently, I am experiencing extreme agitation. Why? It is on account of the recent unearthing of this little slice of seclusion by one Melissa Plant (used a last name). To my surprise, she stumbled upon my blog and set forth to reading every article. Now, it is quite possible she knows many of my deep and dark secrets.
This strange and disorienting event is, of course, due to my own foolishness. Inside my MSN profile, I included the link to this blog as well as many comments urging the reader to pay me a visit. Yes. Dangerously, I held the sword above my own head and let it fall.
Will she end up being trustworthy? I cannot say at this point in the game. She may be an excellent keeper of secrets. On the other hand, she may use this newfound power of hers to haunt me for not taking her on the dance floor at prom for a twirl. What does the future hold for this bizarre occurance, only time and money will tell?
Perhaps I should demand to know all of her little secrets…
I’ll ponder this possibility.
Act Two: Urinating on Dostoevsky’s Grave
Within the next 5 and a half hours, I am supposed to write a very lengthy and intelligent essay comparing the works of Shakespeare and Dostoevsky, Macbeth and Crime and Punishment, respectively.
Binks is required to write the same assignment. He is likely working on it, while I am dealing with damage control (see Act One, if you somehow missed it). Binks has not yet finished C&P;, and with good reason. Dostoevsky couldn’t write anything but dialogue. The man was destined for movie scripts. It was all dialogue.
“Please, don’t hate me for this. Oh, look, we have reached my front doorstep. I will now open the door and we may enter. Don’t look at me like that, now that we have entered into my humble home. My, is that a rag over there. Filthy and wretched.”
Thanks Fyodor. Why not write it something like:
Jordan and Binkle approached the front doorstep of their university dorm room.
“Please don’t hate me for this,” Binkle muttered as he opened the door and stepped into the common room. The common room was in disarray. The floor was stained, and there was a filthy rag to one side with flies buzzing wildly about. Jordan looked with disdain at Binkle’s choice of dorm room.
“Don’t look at me like that,” said Binkle, “I regret it just as much as you.”
Wow. Groundbreaking. Throwing something in that wasn’t dialogue. I’m a true visionary. Anyway, the essay shouldn’t be too hard to write. I just wish I knew how to begin. Normally, I’d start with a quote. But about what? Madness? Writing? Jesus? Mr. Sinko? Good grief this is difficult. Curse you Fyodor. Curse you.
Episode Three: The Third Act
READ BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU ARE A FOOL AND GREATLY DESIRE TO READ SOME SPOILERS. IF YOU ARE A FOOL, THEN I LAUGH AT YOU
Saw Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith in theatres yesterday. Excellent opening scene. Then, there was a whole lot of crap filler with “romantic” scenes between Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen. Portman was a loser throughout the whole film, even when giving birth. Christensen was a big whiny Jedi until he went to the Jedi Temple and killed all the other Jedi. Wicked cool scene, especially with the little kids. Then, the acting was stagnant again. Of course, the movie returned to a time of interesting fight scenes when Yoda fights Palpatine and when Obi-Wan fights Anakin.
All in all, the last twenty minutes or so were amazing.
Poof of logic.