Act One: Conestogo
On Friday, I was in a little place called Conestogo (near Elmira) attempting to image computers at a school aptly named Conestogo. Now, last year, my assignment was strictly imaging schools in the Waterloo area. Sandowne, Lexington (where I am right now), Keatsway, Prueter, etc. They were all nice schools. They smelled normal. I liked those schools.
But, the week I returned from the cottage, I was condemned to a vile prison of country schools with the co-worker designated as “Rose”. These schools are all so bizarre. They are often hybrid buildings; Conestogo was a combination of an 150 year old structure, a 50 year old structure and a ten-year old structure. While moving from one section to another, the difference was apparent. The new section was crisp and clean (although it didn’t smell it) while the old section looked like Resident Evil 2. Truly I tell you that I expected a door frame to rattle and smash open as I passed by. The virus is spreading.
And I wouldn’t doubt the existence of zombies SOMEWHERE in that building. It is so old and there are pathways that lead everywhere. The basement is a labyrinth of dusty halls and utility rooms. What is worse is that the whole building, old and new portions alike, smell like manure.
Conestogo is a gathering point for country students, and naturally smells of their animals…excrements. As all of us know, country children have their recreational activities in utter filth.
Of course, the elementary school kids probably bathe every other day, so should I expect much?
The worst things of all (yes, beyond the age, smell and zombies) is the dust. The computers are covered with so much filth that they have developed their own cultures. While attempting to clean off brown dust (we’ll call it that, for my sake), I found that I was merely moving it around in one large clump on the eMac. I took a more drastic strategy, only to hear a cry of the oppressed dirt-goers on the eMac’s outer shell.
Delving into their society, I discovered that these were a foolish race of miscreants who congregated around the divine “Apple” emblem emblazened onto their hometown. They proclaimed it as a diety, and I was fortunate enough to partake in a static cling ritual.
The dirt and grime was inescapable. It draws you in, makes you ill, and you become one of them.
Frankly, I’m convinced that the school is not empty because it is summer, but the dirt has - in fact - consumed all of the children. The creator has been vanquished by the creation. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum’s character in Jurassic Park) will surely be flipping about this.
“God creates Dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates Man. Man destroys God. Man creates Dinosaurs.”
Well, that’s all for now. I just figured I’d post something on my blog during my lunch break.
Hopefully all my readers (makes it sound like there is a lot) will return to their place of pilgrimage.
On a side note, I’ve noticed a lot of people I know from school who look like actors or actresses I’ve seen on TV.
I need to track down some pictures and stage a comparison. It will help me see if anyone else believes my crackpot ideas.