Act One: So This Is Social Justice, Mhmm?
The administration at my high school has quite a peculiar talent. It is as if our “principal-teacher”, Dorr-tay, has assembled an inept group of underlings, who all believe themselves to be inspired by the unbending mysticism of Christ. So, to enhance our Catholic experience, they provide us with the most powerful speakers that they can muster from the bowels of the Catholic masses.
Of course, when you get things from bowels of any type, you can naturally expect them to be shit. The recent presentation on social justice was no exception. It was busting at the fecal-stained seams with condescending messages towards part-time employment, as well as big corporations and the human race. Apparently, we all suck major ass. And why shouldn’t we? Only Jesus and God are cool, and we’re lowly peons who wipe the dirt of their feet. It is because of this relationship with God that I question why people cannot be good unless someone who can smite you says so.
The presentation - throughout its duration - was a painful collaboration of social justice messages that we have heard countless times in the past as well as the history of the speakers which nobody needed to nor wanted to be told of. However, if you need filler, I can understand you talking about the only thing you know. Unfortunately for these speakers, their own life stories seem to be the only thing that they can tell with complete accuracy.
If I were to be a crazed militant like Brian, then I would have labelled the speakers as “pinko jackassholes” or something equally condescending. If the average student were to be asked about the experience, they might have told these social justice wynos to spread their smut in some other neighbourhood.
Whenever we get these speakers, I always scoff at three things: 1) That they never cite anything, ever. Apparently, concrete evidence is beneath the average Christian social activist. 2) They don’t understand how the economy works, or how anything works for that matter. They operate in a realm of suspended logic and perpetual naivity. 3) They entertain the idea that their audience is composed of decent, God-fearing Christians.
Normally, I snicker behind the backs of the speakers and rip their arguements to shreds with my good friends at our next gathering. Unfortunately, my friends are all half an hour away, which may not seem an obsessively large distance unless your car was backed into and your license was stolen three weeks later. Bollocks.
Due to the presentations complete lack of credibility, coherency, tact and a decent message, I am writing a length letter to our school minister and our noble headmaster. It is undecided whether the letter will include my name - which could get me harshly removed from Student Council Survivor - or whether I will cloak myself under a veil of anonimity.
After it has been sended, I may post a copy of the letter for the people at home to enjoy. Perhaps I’ll even be forcefully removed from Student Council. Boo yah!