IGN recently posted another Nintendo Minute up on their website, where a loyal viewer of IGN asked the question, ”Do we know everything there is to know about Revolution? And on a related note, when will you reveal the final pieces of the puzzle?”

In response, George Harrison - Senior Vice President of Marketing and Corporate Communication - replied:

No, we have not entirely pulled back the curtain on Revolution just yet. There are lots of exciting details about its capabilities and the unique gameplay you’ll experience on it that we’re keeping under wraps – for now. We know you’re very anxious to learn the full potential of the system, and soon we’ll be able to share more with you!

Keeping some Revolution cards close to our chest is a strategic decision on Nintendo’s part. Every Nintendo console launch in the past has been shrouded in some level of secrecy due to Nintendo’s desire to innovate and provide new gaming features and technology. With Revolution, this could be the most innovative product Nintendo has ever created in the history of the company. So even though we’ve already shown you the basics on Revolution, you can be sure that there are still a few more surprises we’re holding for a later date.

When? You’ll slowly begin to know more as we enter 2006 and as the year unfolds, and especially at E3, you’ll be immersed in Revolution news.

So, Nintendo has a few more surprises in store beyond the retro gaming experience and that abomination of an interface. Yet, we should not expect to hear anything from them until E3 2006. What Nintendo fails to realise - and I’m not surprised in the least - is that people will be cozy and warm in their homes with their XBox 360’s and Playstation 3’s. Quietly, the Nintendo Revolution will approach the living room window, look in, and see it has been replaced. There is no room for you in this home Revolution. No room here either. And after a while, the Revolution will just be sleeping in the cold.

Good business strategy.

Now, because Caleb is a pusher, I’ve purchased another game for my Nintendo DS. None other than Mario Kart DS itself. After a few hours of solid play, I unlocked Daisy and Dry Bones (a character with an obscure history who - for whatever reason - has gained stardom in Mario Party 7 AND Mario Kart DS. Professor E. Gadd, on the other hand, has still not been featured in any game but Luigi’s Mansion. For shame Nintendo.)

Growing slightly fatigued by monotonous computer gameplay, I endeavoured to hook up my Nintendo DS to the wireless worldwide network of vidiots just like me.

The router was set up properly. The DS was calibrated with all the right settings. Test Connection. No dice.

After two hours, there was still no online satisfaction. I returned to playing the 100cc circuit, but found myself bested by the computer characters I had unlocked. Curse my foolishness. My thoughts strayed to Meteos, until I glimpsed the orange light blinking incessantly at the base of the system. It is now enjoying a quick nap to recharge its batteries.

And thus, I’m here.

TANGENT

I’m sorry to go on a tangent. As I write this, an advertisement for Indigo Prophecy appeared on IGN. At the end of their brief photo montage, it flashes up “8.4 out of 10” - IGN. This is followed by a comment from XBox Magazine which reads, “Much to clever to pass up.” Hilarious.

Strangely enough, that tangent - to the curve - has led me to my original topic. The XBox 360. It is officially released on Tuesday, although companies have been selling games and peripherals for the past few days. It seems that no matter where you go, everyone has “over pre-ordered”, which forces people to retreat to the humblest of places - the Hudson’s Bay Company. On the Tuesday of release, I am fortunate enough to be working in the afternoon. What does this mean? It means that I will have to deal with all the people who couldn’t come at 9:00 AM and are wondering where their systems are. Sounds like good fun.

The entire “core system” and “standard system” idea that Microsoft has going is - to put it bluntly - retarded. The core system is $100 cheaper than the standard system, but the core system requires the purchase of memory cards and other peripherals to run effectively. Those add-ons will sum to an amount greater than $100, meaning a safer investment is the standard system. Unfortunately, Microsoft has expertly catered to the casual consumer/gamer who will not even realize the prices. A man and woman came into Zellers once to purchase a Gamecube. I explained that the Mario Pary 7 pack was the same price as a regular Gamecube, but it came with two controllers and a game. It took her twenty minutes to grasp the value. When I told her she would still need a memory card to save, I suggested the 251, since a 1016 has more space than the casual gamer would ever need. Her husband hastily clutches a 1016 in his sausage fingers and heads to the checkout. His action embodies the entirety of the next generation of consoles.

Throwing money away.