It was an uncanny coincedence. I’d merely gone into EBGames to browse about the gaming possibilities for my brother’s modest Christmas gift when I felt compelled to flip through the used Playstation games. It was to my immediate surprise that I noticed a copy of Resident Evil 2, the original version. When I say original, I mean before Dual Shock Analog Support. I found a copy of Resident Evil 2 from January 1998 and picked it up for an easy $8.99. I was fucking ecstatic.

My unsatiable desire to complete my collection knows only one roadblock: Resident Evil 3 is as impossible to find as a leprechaun dry humping Heidi Klum on All Souls Day. The original Playstation copy of that game has evaporated from the surface of this planet like the first seven snowfalls of this winter. It is simply not existent in any retail outlet of any type.

As a result, I’m going to have to sink to a disgusting low: I’m going to have to purchase the more expensive and not improved Gamecube version of the game. These were produced in limited quantities, but obviously, they were made more recently than their PS1 cousins, so some locations may have them. I’ve confirmed that my own local EB Games does not, but perhaps in a larger city, I can find something. If, by chance, you can find Resident Evil 3: Nemesis for Playstation OR Gamecube, please purchase it for me as a Christmas gift. I will pay you back.

On an unrelated note to my ravenous hunt, I purchased the recut and extended Sin City, although I have yet to watch it. Family movie night (Saturday night) was spent watching 40-year-old virgin, which - I’ll admit - had me spilling urine everywhere as I chuckled. The doctor did recommend I use a lid for that storage cup, so I guess it is genuinely my fault.

I also have eczema. I find it funny because Andreas diagnosed it quicker than my doctor did. Perhaps a guiding light in Andreas’ cloudy future?

NURSE: Doctor, this man is losing a lot of blood. DR. ANDREAS: Holy shit! N00b. Rush B. This j00 needs rez!

Then again, maybe not.