This has been - by far - the worst weekend in fucking existence.
My 300 GB hard drive is busted. My sister knocked it off of the desk, and now it works when it feels like it. I’m trying to salvage the data, but it looks like hours upon hours of The Office, 24, Lost, etc are all gone. Liam, I’m sorry, but your delightful Cowboy Bebop OSTs are also gone.
I cannot get any work done here, since my brother is having some party with friends tomorrow. So, I’m going back to school on Saturday. This means that I wont see Sam at all this weekend. I probably wont see her until December, after exams are done, since I’ve got a midterm each Monday until the exam period.
I cannot even sleep in my own bed while I’m here, since my brother and his girlfriend are in the room that Jake and I share. So, I’m sleeping on the couch, by the fireplace, which makes it far too hot.
I’ve got a psych exam that I’m not prepared for, and two CS assignments due.
My fucking lab wont fucking work. There doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with the class. I test it with other instances, but it wont fucking work. Fuck fuck fuck! It is the one instance I need it to work for that it refuses to work for.
I haven’t gotten a fucking job, and I didn’t apply to anything on the second round of job applications so I’m fucking screwed. Again. Looks like I’ll be stuck working at fucking Zellers or some other place that pays terribly and wont help me in any way get through university.
I’m fucking sick of the university experience. I hate it here. I feel like I’m never making any advancements. It is like I have my head stuck in a guillotine, and the only reason I survive is because I keep straining to think of ways to distract the executioner from throwing the switch. Eventually, I just want to let the blade fall and be at fucking peace for once.
- I don’t sleep. I don’t eat well. I sit in my room in a chair that has made noise ever since Blake fucking leaned back in it that one night.
I have no money. I’m completely dirt poor. Blake owes me money for last weekend and I’ll probably never get it.
I really just want to give up. I don’t even know why I came to this university for this program. I hate it. Math infuriates me. This computer science lab is a perfect example. It’s killing me. I have so much other shit to do, but this is taking up all my time. And this is a fucking lab. I have a full blown assignment due, and I haven’t even started it yet. I don’t understand why my fucking code doesn’t fucking work.
I hate my program. I hate living like this, day to day, with no breaks or time to catch my breath. I’m sick of the fact that life is designed so that we spend the first fifty or more years fighting an uphill battle through difficulty, inconvenience and complete bullshit on all levels to enjoy being old and decaying in our retirement. We put up with so much shit for 90% of our lives so that we can enjoy the final 10% (provided we don’t go comatose or get paralysed).
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCK FUCK JAVA FUCK!!!
I FUCKING HATE LIFE!