I have trouble grasping how there can be so much damage to property and individual well-being resulting from the Nintendo Wii.

Articles all over the place, seem to suggest that the Wii - or at least, the Wiimote - has become a weapon of unbelievable destruction. I’ve seen images of bruised eyes, cut hands, dislocated knees, smashed televisions, broken lighting fixtures, etc, etc. And, it amazes me that the Wiimote can cause such damage.

Oh, that is right. It is not the Wiimote alone. It is driven by a force much more potent when it comes to destruction.

Human stupidity.

Are people really being so careless as to let their Wiimote go flying? The system does not require such elaborate movements that would warrant all this destruction and injury. Even if safety straps are reportedly breaking - a more limited occurrence than forum-monkeys would have you believe - there is no conceivable reason that your Wiimote could leave your hand, unless you rolled right out of a steamy orgy with various butters, cream cheeses, soaps, and jellies and decided to have a go at a round of Wii Sports.

The fact that people are being so careless (I may regret using that word later) is astounding. Perhaps Nintendo was not seeking to revolutionize gaming, but to train cold-blooded killers who can hurl projectiles with astounding accuracy. These killers will then form a militant group that can destroy those who play the consoles of Nintendo’s competitors.

Ah yes. A plan so simple and elegant in its elaborate and hideous nature, it seems just the type of thing Nintendo might try…what with their child friendly demographic.

Woo! Elebits.