In the first Bits and Pieces, which will remain without an actual title because I am tired, I’m going to talk about Square Enix’s newest business plans, Jack Thompson’s latest tirades, the return of Heroes, Kennel Cough, the location of the missing Super Smash Bros. feature, and the future of The Box.
Hit the jump for more. (I cannot believe I just used that.)
1. Square Enix is not ready to devote games to any download service like XBox Live Arcade or the Nintendo Virtual Console. Why? They claim that it is because of the need for physical media, and a solid billing structure, but this is all garbage. The real reason is that Square Enix has recently shifted its business plan. Why make new games when you can release the old games again and again? And again, and again, and again. We’ve already seen the early Final Fantasy games released on the Famicom, NES, PS1 (in more than one package), Game Boy Advance, Nintendo DS (for FF III), and now the first two titles of the series will be appearing in an updated form on the Sony PSP.
I would not mind this so much if they would just release a Chrono Trigger remake or sequel (or both) for the Nintendo DS. Then, I could scoop that up, and never bother with a Square Enix game after that. Really, I do not play their games. Final Fantasy titles bore me. For RPGs, I prefer the Tales series from Namco. Nothing tops Symphonia. Nothing. So, Square Enix can sit in their little pit and re-re-release games until they have done more remastering than George Lucas. But you’re not going to win over anyone new.
2. Jack Thompson is angry. Not so much about the Virginia Tech shootings. His moments of showboating have passed. Now, he has switched into “The Aftermath” mode, where he begins to breath fire over any website or journalist who speaks a negative word about him. If Penny-Arcade makes a satirical comic, he will send some sort of legal threats to their offices. If IGN comments on the tactlessness of his “massacre-chasing”, then they will receive a strongly-worded letter. If Kotaku points out gaping holes in all of his arguments, he will get the FBI involved.
It’s the circle…the circle of life. Sing it Elton.
3. Heroes is back! And I could not be happier. I do not want to list any spoilers about what happened in .07%, but it was such a delicious set up for the finale. And it has put all of the heroes into some interesting places, as well as finally setting up an interesting path for Mohinder Suresh (who I seriously thought would be dead by now).
I’m so psyched that it is back though. I’ve been watching this video over and over again, waiting. I got to watch this episode on my PC, but next week, I’ll be leaving my last day of co-op to return to Village One to watch it in the common room with all my neighbours. Boo yah!
4. Sophie, our not-so-new dog who I first announced the name of in this post, has contracted an illness known as “Kennel Cough” from some dogs that she usually plays with at the dog park. For those of you who do not know, Kennel Cough is essentially the dog equivalent of influenza, except there is a lot more vomiting. I have had to watch her to make sure she does not choke on her own vomit and pull a Jimi Hendrix on us. Because of this, I was unable to finish my Super Smash Bros. feature in my two days off. I have most of the images uploaded though, and I will try to finish it in a free moment or two at work. Hopefully Sophie will pull through, and the articles will be finished before I am back in residence.
5. I want to take this opportunity to announce a few new things that I want to work into the blog. These new sections/features will all be put into effect slowly so that you all have less time to notice that I have yet to finish my new template. But don’t worry. It is coming. Anyway, the new sections will be two-fold:
- Bits and Pieces, which you are currently reading, is not always going to occur on a Wednesday. It is actually going to occur on Sunday from this point forward, and will serve as a bit of a weekly wrap-up to anything interesting that I discovered throughout the week, but did not warrant its own post. I’m sure you were all able to extrapolate that from this post. - Foxy Fridays is a new weekly feature that will come into effect at the request of Binkle. After vomiting for a record 25 hours following a glimpse of his gay Mexican roommate’s naked body, Binkle thought it would be interesting if I would post some of the extremely erotic background showcasing sexy females that I unearth in my travels through the interspace. So, in order to try to satisfy all of your insatiable appetites for the ladies, I am going to be posting sexy backgrounds for you to gawk at when you are in class (Andrew) or at home (the rest of you). Just…promise me you wont wrestle with your one-eyed monster while still at my blog. It would…dirty…everything.
Another thing worth noting is that I will be doing more features. I have two planned already which are titled:
1. From The Ashes: How To Jumpstart The Heart of the Star Fox Franchise Metroid Prime saved the Metroid series from the brink. Super Mario Galaxy is quoted as being “perfect”, and will serve to bring the Mario Bros. franchise back into its former glory. Twilight Princess has salvaged the somewhat ruined reputation The Legend of Zelda earned during the Wind Waker years. But what about Star Fox? When will it see an improvement? Or will it simply see a curtain call? _ 2. Favourite Franchises, Where Did You Go? It seems a lot of franchises have just dropped off of the map. I’m going to pick a few that I think should get a significant rebirth. _
So, that is what I have planned for the future. As I said, the Super Smash Bros. Brawl feature should be wrapped up by May 1st. And we’ll get into the Star Fox one in the middle of May (since I need to do sketches for it).
And hopefully all of this material will distract you from the fact that there has not been a significant The Coin Op announcement in a while.