THERE BE SPOILERS BELOW!

Chuck: “Guys, I know Kung Fu.” It was - at that moment - that Chuck strapped a pair of water skis to his feet and went sailing over a shark. And yet, everything was absolutely perfect until the last few minutes. If anything, Chuck should have taken the analyst job working on the Intersect project. Or, Chuck should have been learning Secret Agent Man/Tech Geek skills through the whole season, building him into a comprehensive hero in his own right (who uses Orion’s computer to provide tactical support on missions). Having Chuck become The One was a boneheaded move, and killed the show in my mind.

I found it difficult to fit Chuck into my TV schedule for Season Two. For Season Three (if there is one), I doubt I’ll even bother. You had a good run Chuck, but I hope you’ve been cancelled.

Heroes: Worst finale ever. First and foremost, kudos on having Nathan Petrelli die in every season finale thus far. So far, Nathan has been irradiated by his nuclear brother, been shot to death by his brother, and had his throat slit open by Gabriel Gray (a man who was once believed to be his brother). Classic stuff. He’s probably still alive somehow, lurking in the shadows, ready to pop up and die again in the Season Four finale.

The biggest thing that irked me about the finale was that the huge fight scene between Sylar, Peter, and Nathan occurred OFF SCREEN! How stupid do you have to be to do that. This was your SEASON FINALE, which should be synonymous with a spectacle that is bigger and better than anything to happen all season. However, that wasn’t the case. Meaningless filler episodes were better than this finale. The webisodes were better than this finale. The six page comics released weekly are better than this finale!

I was most displeased.

The only interesting thing (as far as the sci-fi backing the show) was when Matt Parkman forced Sylar to absorb Nathan’s memories and adopt his appearance, permanently. Now, even though Nathan Petrelli is dead, Gabriel Gray (Sylar) believes himself to be Nathan Petrelli, and has “permanently” shape shifted into this form. I think that the implications of this are cool, but - ultimately - removing serial killer Sylar from the plot was a huge mistake. He is a huge drive for the story. In fact, I wanted to see Peter take a Sylar-esque turn for the worse, pursuing down the path of his father - Arthur Petrelli - in a misguided attempt to save the world. Peter, able to absorb all powers, might feel that he is the only one who can handle saving the world. So, he starts to take on a bit of a maniacal monarch role, alienating all other Heroes. He becomes too powerful. His former friends need to stop him. Sylar wants his abilities. Epic showdown.

Frankly, this show jumped the shark back in Volume Three, when Arthur Petrelli extended his hands and the “magical energies” of the catalyst surged forth. Bullshit. You want to make a show about superpowers, then you make “the catalyst” a superpower too. Here’s a quick work around, off the top of my head. Instead of “the catalyst” being a magical light that you mix with your superhero voodoo juice, why not make “the catalyst” an ability? Say that the potential for developing an ability exists within all people: what varies is its level of activation. The person with the “catalyst” ability is - then - someone who activates the evolution of a person’s ability (fans of the show will see what I just did there). By injecting people with the serum, you are able to pick and choose which abilities they get (or give them an increased chance of a certain ability). The catalyst then activates their ability, and they are free to do whatever.

This way, Arthur Petrelli’s abilities (taking powers) and the catalysts ability (giving powers) become polar opposites, and you have set the stage for a biblical conflict.

Gah! This show frustrates me so much. You’re on one of the main network with a show about superheroes and you churn our mediocre plotlines and really poorly thought our characters. What THE SHIT! I know you had some idiots at the helm a while back, but they got kicked to the curb (and are now making their own pilots elsewhere). Why are the stories still bad?

Bottom line: Heroes has gone to shit and Chuck has become more disappointing than ever. 24 has lost me again. Something about the fact that Jack is dying (and yet so many others still die before him) makes me think the show is going to take a rocket car and leap over a tank full of sharks by the end of the season. Jack Bauer cannot die. He is our generations Chuck Norris.

Anyway, this is all I have for now. Further angry rants will likely arise when other shows finish of their first seasons. Not for Castle or Lost though, due to my man-crush on Nathan Fillion and my indestructible love of Lost (good sci-fi on one of the big 5 networks, who can’t love Lost).