Binkle wanted me to provide an update to the New Year’s thing.
The fact of the matter is, I don’t know what is going on.
We don’t have a location. People are dropping like flies. Binkle hasn’t even confirmed that he is coming yet or not.
So, how about this everyone?
Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?
After writing my final exam, I returned to North 3. I was promptly whisked away into a land of intrigue and…toys?
Yes.
After Algebra, I went to Fairview mall with Karthik, Ian and Jacob. We visited the Toys R’ Us, and we each purchased a Nerf gun of some description. I also took the opportunity to delve back into the world of gaming, by purchasing Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin. SIDENOTE: If any of my friends have Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin, and would like to sell me the Thick Glasses and Long Sword through the Wireless Shop Mode, I’d appreciate it. Unfortunately, I sold these items before I realized they were necessary for some of Wind’s Quests.
Anyway, with our Nerf guns, we had an all-out Nerf war on the first floor, where I was gunned down many times. Unfortunately, Karthik and Ian had picked up these automatic weapons, so it was difficult to dodge their fire. With my weapons, however, I was disturbingly accurate, and - on more than one occasion - wowed everyone with my feats of accuracy. For example, I shot a water bottle off of the television from across the room, and I shot down all of Ian’s darts (he had fired them up at the ceiling, and I shot them all down from across the room).
Later that night, we assaulted Marguerite on the 3rd floor. In exchange for not shooting her, she gave me some strawberry-rhubarb pie, which was delicious. We took the opportunity to then assault N1’s don (Amy’s don), and then we settled in to watch Hard Candy on her MacBook.
At some point in the interim, I brought my Gamecube out and turned it on for the first time since arriving at university. I beat Jacob a few times in Pikmin, and then he beat me. Which sucked. So, I beat him a few times in SSBM. Then he beat me a few times.
Sadness.
Anyway, after that, we retired to our respective rooms. I came out later, and unlocked some stuff in SSBM. Then, I went to my room and packed up. I also shot each of the Reservoir Dogs in the head with my Nerf guns. Sweet.
I played some Castlevania, and then went home and slept for the next two days.
On Saturday, Sam surprised me and came over before I was going to go to Liam’s. She gave me my Christmas gift - two brown sweaters - and my parents gave her the gift they’d purchased for her. Newsies, the Disney musical about the paperboy strike in the 1880s or 1890s. It stars Christian Bale. She was so giddy.
I had yet to purchase her a gift.
So, for the first half of the Starcraft game, I was with Sam. For the second half, I was Christmas shopping.
Sorry guys.
And that is where I’ve been.
It is now Boxing Day. I got home from Brampton a few hours ago. I’m stuffed to the brim with food.
I’ve nearly beaten Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin. Boo yah.
For Christmas, I got some slippers (the first pair I’ve ever owned), some pajamas (from my sister), two sweaters, and a fleece sweater.
What’d you folks get?
EDIT: Also, I bought We Love Katamari for the PS2. It is such a fun game. I played it at UW once.
Anyway, I figured we could play it at New Years if anyone has a PS2. It is multiplayer.
After failing to complete the exam-related tales that began with a little game of Clue is being concluded now, in my first post from my home away from home…my home.
The Final Act!
When we last left our hero - Jordan - he was sipping brandy on the patio of his Bermuda condo in celebration of the successful completion of 60% of his final examinations. Suddenly, the telephone in the billiard room pierced the serenity of the moment with its shrill ringing noises. Fithwhistle Copperpot, my hired hand, rushed to the enormous gilded telephone and lifted the receiver in order to avoid the fate of his brother - Elshtain Q. Copperport - a young lad who had failed to answer the phone before the fourth ring and was executed for it.
The caller - from Fithwhistle’s description - was a surly, unkempt gentleman who went by the egotistical alias of “The Guy”, but was known in social circles as Binkle - the Bermuda’s poorest vertigo-stricken peasant. Fithwhistle handed the telephone to me, and the illusion of my success was swiftly broken by the voice on the other hand.
Bermuda dissolved around me. The gilded phone dissolved into a General Electric phone. Fithwhistle was nothing more than a photograph of Uma Thurman as The Bride. The brandy I had been sipping was - in fact - carpet cleaner from the house mom’s cart.
I thought for certain I would soon be dead.
Anyway, Binkle asked if I wanted to do something. I said sure - unaware of the vast wealth of time that he would consume. Precious exam studying time. Nearly an additional two hours past the cut-off point of the evening. But I survived. I ended up completing my discussion summaries necessary for PHIL 202. I placed them on the plastic tray of the printer, and retired to my crypt to prepare for the examination.
The next morning was leisurely. I showered. Ate. Made sure to depart for Ron Coutts Hall with ample time. And as I reached the doorway, five minutes before the start of the exam, I knew this was the dawning of a brighter day. No more annoying readings. No more journal entries. No more…
FUCK!
The discussion summaries. I had spent so long preparing them, and they were still sitting in the printer tray at home. Death loomed over me, scythe at the ready, cackling with his menacing, skeletal vocal chords. My eyes turned towards the Village. The distance. The time. The speed. I felt myself entrusted with the powers of haste, the agile movements of Hermes pushed me towards the Village. It was only when I reached Dana Porter that my burst of energy was spent, and the combination of lack of fitness and asthma dealt me a crippling blow.
Lisa Walsh, a member of my PHIL 202 class, passed by with a puzzled look on her face. I shrugged and said, “I forgot my discussion summaries! I got to the freakin’ door and I realized I left them behind!” She gave me a sympathetic look, and carried on. I ran. Lord, I ran until I couldn’t feel my legs. And after I’d passed the biology building, I ran some more.
Past the SLC. Past the PAC. Up the hill, around to N3.
I dove through the glass door at N3 and dealt a crippling blow to the house mom, before rolling past my don and killing two students who were moving too slowly. I was hysterical. I was desperate. My exam started in one minute. My keys. No time. I kicked in the door (after turning the key in the lock and opening the door slightly). I grabbed my bike, the assignments, a backpack, my delicious carpet cleaner, and I ran.
I biked all the way to RCH and locked my bike up. Would it get stolen? If I failed PHIL 202, it wouldn’t matter. It was a lose-lose. Be killed by my dad or be killed by my dad. There were no options. There was no time.
I ran into the classroom.
THANK GOD! The exam hadn’t started yet. Glorious salvation. I handed in my discussion summaries, and sat in a chair - weary and unable to see. The gave me an examination page, and a booklet, but my heaving attacks of asthma made it difficult to write for the first fifteen minutes or so. Unfortunately, the medicine in asthma inhalers made me sick, so I have been unable to take it ever since.
Nevertheless, I wrote and I wrote and I wrote some more. I talked about the plight of women, how men are incompetent bastards, how we degrade women in language. I bitched like I didn’t have a pair!
And with any luck, the marks will reflect that. I have not received my final mark for PHIL 202 as of writing this.
Algebra was a lot simpler than PHIL 202. There were not any issues with arriving on time.
I was ill-prepared for complex numbers, but I easily compensated for it in the end.
All-in-all, I feel that I will receive a good mark in Algebra.
However, I felt the same about Calculus and I got a 63% overall…so…yeah.
But hey, I’ll take a pass. A pass is a pass is a pass.
Finished Psych 120R off today.
Wasn’t nearly as annoying as I thought it would be. The professor even dropped the Short Answer stuff for this exam. It was 78 multiple choice questions. On the downside, the last six questions were about videos they’d watched in class, so I was forced to guess. Oh well. That entire class was a write-off.
Anyway, I’ve got PHIL 202 tomorrow, MATH 135 on Wednesday, and then I’m out of here on Thursday. I’m so psyched, I can’t express how psychedelic it is.
And Andrew hasn’t made a post about it, but he and I were discussing having a Starcraft game on Thursday at some time, since nearly everyone will be done exams, everyone will be back in Stratford, and that St. Michaels Alumni night doesn’t look like it will be well attended.
So, yeah. Too all Starcraft players in our close-knit group of friends, who will be in Stratford on Thursday (or maybe Friday), please keep your schedules open so that we can have a massive game. And to sweeten the pot, I wont quit. Ever. Not even when the game is over.
Also, Liam, Solid State Society is done. I can burn it to a DVD if you want, or if you’re up for Starcraft at the end of the week, I can transfer it to your computer with the Cowboy Bebop songs and artbooks I got for you.
I have trouble grasping how there can be so much damage to property and individual well-being resulting from the Nintendo Wii.
Articles all over the place, seem to suggest that the Wii - or at least, the Wiimote - has become a weapon of unbelievable destruction. I’ve seen images of bruised eyes, cut hands, dislocated knees, smashed televisions, broken lighting fixtures, etc, etc. And, it amazes me that the Wiimote can cause such damage.
Oh, that is right. It is not the Wiimote alone. It is driven by a force much more potent when it comes to destruction.
Human stupidity.
Are people really being so careless as to let their Wiimote go flying? The system does not require such elaborate movements that would warrant all this destruction and injury. Even if safety straps are reportedly breaking - a more limited occurrence than forum-monkeys would have you believe - there is no conceivable reason that your Wiimote could leave your hand, unless you rolled right out of a steamy orgy with various butters, cream cheeses, soaps, and jellies and decided to have a go at a round of Wii Sports.
The fact that people are being so careless (I may regret using that word later) is astounding. Perhaps Nintendo was not seeking to revolutionize gaming, but to train cold-blooded killers who can hurl projectiles with astounding accuracy. These killers will then form a militant group that can destroy those who play the consoles of Nintendo’s competitors.
Ah yes. A plan so simple and elegant in its elaborate and hideous nature, it seems just the type of thing Nintendo might try…what with their child friendly demographic.
Woo! Elebits.
It seems that the world is a cruel and twisted place when a blizzard that ravages the Pacific north-west is actually joked about in a Gamespot news article.
Moreover, I find it interesting that the fact that people have died is merely a footnote in the article. Frankly, as someone who possesses no ill will towards the human race, and generally prays for our safety, my primary focus would be commenting on the blizzard - merely through its connection to Steam.
It seems to me to be a bit more tactful to focus on the issue that has killed four people first, and then say “as a consequence, Steam servers are likely to be down for the next little while. The hearts and prayers of everyone at Gamespot go out to the people caught in this blizzard.”
But…to make some video game company related joke about it…for shame.