After using this template for so long, I’ve come to detest it.

It is far too “artsy” in appearance, with the eye-logo looking like some futuristic blog-version of H.A.L. It occured to me that the logo does not truly represent anything. I felt that this place needed a symbol, and so I went about hastily contorting the “O” of BOX to suit my purposes.

Unfortunately, the result was less than I had hoped, but I’ve merely kept it as such due to the fact that I don’t read my blog and therefore, could not see how bad it looked.

This hatred of my blog’s template made me think back to my much nicer template back on http://sycron.eternityproject.net/granite, which was inspired by my apprenticeship - of sorts - with gaming during the age of the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES).

Searching desperately for a new template idea, the solution presented itself in an April Fool’s prank performed by five girls from Ohio. For once, I could finally appreciate the origins of the Box of Mythical Wonders. It was a magical object that could be suspended in mid air, and - when hit - would release one of a variety of mythical objects.

In short, The Box is going back to its Retro NES roots with a new template - Mario style!

My last three posts were April Fool’s jokes.

The last two were pretty obvious, but I spent a lot of time on the first one before posting it, including looking up the Executive Director of Ubisoft NA, as well as their Montreal office’s address.

I thought that something would have instantly sounded wrong about the post. The following should have struck you as peculiar:

• The Ubisoft letter said that they assessed me, not that I “applied” in any fashion. Therefore, their knowledge of my full name and address (for the package in the mail) would have been extremely suspicious.

• Gaming companies never send early builds of games to bloggers unless that blogger also works for a larger media firm. 1UP/EGM and IGN/Gamespot are the only places I can think of that regularly receive early builds. Penny Arcade doesn’t, and they are probably one of the most popular gaming comics/critics out there. So, why would a humble little blogger with little-to-no incoming links suddenly be bestowed the honour of becoming a freelance reviewer for Ubisoft.

• Would I really have been contacted by the Executive Director of Ubisoft NA for a job that their marketing or public relations department would have been scouting for? Seems hardly necessary.

• The Nintendo WiFi service for the game went online April Fools Day. It was the only hugely obvious hint I could give, which is why the post had to go up a day early.

The joke was not extremely well executed. Stu knew it was a joke. Jacob knew it was a joke. However, I successfully tricked Brendon, Brian M, Josh, Binkle, Adam, Jake E., Cameron, Liam, Blake and a few others here and there.

All in all, it was successful, and - had you eventually gotten that it was a joke - I would have never revealed the truth until someone figured it out. However, you were also so foolish to believe with such zealousness that I just had to stop it.

You made the last few days absolutely hilarious. Cameron actually congratulated me at work on the Ubisoft job, and I pissed myself laughing.

After breaking away from a world of sex, drugs, and violence through their creation of Table Tennis for the XBox 360, Rockstar has delved right back into their Grand Theft Auto-esque world of insane game design by announcing a new title along the same vein as Bully.

In “The Beat”, you take on the roll of a corrupt cop who patrols the streets of the fictional city of Dregsburg, a bustling metropolis on the East Coast (New York again?) that is plagued by crime (both petty and organized), as well as prostitution.

The main character, Officer Lyle Trent, goes through numerous missions in an attempt to bribe and influence the warring criminal factions for his own personal gain. It has many similarities to Grand Theft Auto, although the gameplay is more focused on gunplay (a la Max Payne) than vehicle usage. The gameplay promises to offer more unique features than its vehicle based big brother, including more varied weapons (C4 explosives with timed detonators, heat seeking rocket launchers, advanced rifles, etc), as well as mobility items like parachutes, ropes, chains, grappling hooks, etc. On the street, players will be able to regain health and wealth through taking bribes from local businesses, or having sex with hookers in alleyways (apparently Hot Coffee meant nothing).

The game also takes a cue from the 24 game, incorporating an interogation system, where the player keeps the captives “stress level” between a certain limit by asking the right questions. If the stress level is between the limits for five sets of questions (in a row) then the captive “cracks” and tells you valuable information. Depending on your effectiveness in interogation, the subsequent missions may change.

While the game may be less of a sand box adventure, Rockstar is still promising that the gameplay experience will be massive and enjoyable. The game sounds a bit twisted, and is not the best direction for Rockstar to be heading considering their ongoing investigation by several government bodies.

Meh…whatever.

Just when Nintendo DS fans are still recoiling from the news of a savoury new Zelda title, Nintendo hints us with whispers of another. Satoru Iwata - in a brunch meet-and-greet with press in Europe - let slip that another Zelda title, tentatively titled The Legend of Zelda: Celestial Arrow, is currently finishing development for the Nintendo Revolution, and is going to hit the system a few months after launch.

While there are no details as to the gameplay mechanics or graphical stylings of CA, it is certain that Nintendo will drop a large, expensive care package of news into our laps at E3 in May.

This news, added to the announcement of Phantom Hourglass and the November release of Twilight Princess, is likely going to have Zelda fans world-wide exploding with glee as the series which has not received a truly decent 3D title since Majora’s Mask gets a massive overhaul and becomes a triple threat in the holiday season of 2007.

I have glee!

Just received something in the post from Ubisoft’s Montreal Studios. It was a parcel accompanied by a letter, which reads:

_Mr. Jordan Grant, _

_You have been recognized as a credible gaming journalist by UbiSoft’s Marketing Department of Canada. As a result, you will find enclosed in this parcel two copies of the upcoming Nintendo DS release title LostMagic. _

_Use the second copy with another of your organization and provide a hands-on review of single player and multiplayer functionality. The Nintendo Wi-Fi service will begin functioning for this game as of April 1st, 2006, so you can also experiment with the online gameplay of this title as well. _

_Bear in mind that this is a hands-on title strictly for the use of your company with the intent to review. Your company is not allowed to resell or distribute this copy of the game before or after the official North American launch date of April 18, 2006. _

We look forward to your review, and working with you in the future.

_Laurent Detoc Executive Director, North America 5505 boul Saint-Laurent Suite 5000 Montreal H2T 1S6, Quebec Tel: +1 (514) 490 2000 Fax: +1 (514) 490 0882 _

The letter, needless to say, has shocked me. Although, I am excited to begin playing the game two and a half weeks early. So far, it is quite good, but I wont go into further details until I’ve finished and I write my full “hands-on” review.

So, the question is, who do I give the second copy to?

It seems that I am not the only one who dislikes the Universal Media Disc format that Sony rather unwisely chose to implement into their Sony PSP - and nothing else.

Many Hollywood studios are pulling out of the format in part or entirely, and major retailers like Wal Mart are also beginning to reduce the amount of shelf space that these discs are given. Zellers, on the other hand, has actually increased the space UMDs are allocated as of February 2006.

The floundering format is dying out for movie releases, but Sony does have hope for the little disc format that could. They have alluded to possible functionality with next-generation hardware. So, in the future, we could be using UMDs on a television through a PSP-TV hookup, or - perhaps - backwards compatibility available through the Playstation 3.

For whatever reason, some people are intrigued by this possibility. I - on the other hand - find this to bring about the question: Why keep the format at all?

The fact of the matter is, most people are content at simply finding movies through other - possibly illegitimate - avenues and playing them off of their memory stick. So, here is the question: Why doesn’t Sony simply establish an iTunes-like download service for movies? Download the file onto your computer. Drag and drop it onto your PSP. It is safe and sound. If the encryption is good enough, then they will not even be able to be ripped, as there is no analog video output on the PSP.

Call me crazy, but I think a Sony Video Service would work wonders for the PSP, and revitalize their dying little portable.