Alright. So, I’m sick of bullshit wireless router difficulties and all that crap, so I go out and purchase a 35 dollar Nintendo Wi-Fi Connector. I come home, and follow the directions. Install the software. Connect your DS. Authenticate. Be happy.

The damn piece of shit still doesn’t connect. It says there is likely some difficulty with my firewall. So, I personally go and deactivate every shred of security ever installed on the system. What happens? Sweet dick all. The damn thing still wont work. How can Nintendo make a product to connect to WiFi that only works some of the time, if at all? I mean…I’ve been patient. I’ve tried again and again and again to get this fucking thing working and it keeps kicking me in the balls. I’m sick, tired, I’ve got nothing to do now that I’m dropping law, and all I fucking wanted was to pile some fucking Tetriminos onto some poor guys screen. But fucking no!

Fuck Fuck Fuck.

I hate when things don’t work after I buy them at Zellers. I feel so awkward returning them.

Apparently, the Nintendo Revolution is going to save games on SD Memory Cards and any USB Storage Device (pocket drives, external hard drives, thumb drives, etc). Sounds pretty interesting, especially since it really opens up the possibility of already owning your Revolution’s memory card, and having other uses if you don’t have a lot of games.

Source

Also, check out the Rev’s specs

Source

At first, I wondered how the developers at Nintendo would be able to fit so much game into such a small cartridge. What would be cut back? Would the game shine like it’s Gamecube relatives?

To compare Metroid Prime Hunters to the Gamecube entries in the series would be unfair. They are completely different games. The two Gamecube titles stress exploration and routine puzzle solving, and stress more on finding upgrades of various types and using them to explore further. The gunplay aspect of the Gamecube games is muted due to the inclusion of an auto-targeting system and only four unique beam weapons.

Metroid Prime Hunters - on the other hand - stresses gunplay over all else. The game features eight unique weapons (including the missile launcher), and stresses shooting accuracy over all else. Frequent encounters with the other six bounty hunters of the series require you to duke it out in a battle of whomever can fire best and fastest.

In Hunters, the puzzle element is extremely lacking. The morph ball puzzles of earlier games were almost entirely absent, and any other puzzles merely consisted of finding something and scanning it. Strangely, despite the absence of puzzles and riddles to solve, there were still an incredibly large amount of Logbook Scans. Due to my ineptness at scanning every single object, I have only managed to complete the game with a measly 66% as of this review. As a result, I did not even get to encounter the second phase of the final boss (how embarassing).

One of the other drawbacks of this game is that the expansive overworld has been replaced by five detached planet areas. Due to this change, the setting is less engrossing than the console versions, which - by the end - has such a uniform and cohesive existence that it feels real. Furthermore, the expansive overworld of the console versions provides multiple ways to approach objectives, whereas the worlds in Hunters are disturbingly linear.

Despite several drawbacks, Metroid Prime Hunters has a decent single player with plenty of challenging points. However, the best part of this game is, without a doubt, the multiplayer modes. With a wide variety of maps, seven game types, seven different hunters AND the ability to use bots, Metroid Prime Hunters is easily the greatest multiplayer game for the DS to date.

The seven hunters are each unique, offering different character sizes, styles, and - most importantly, morph ball forms. Trace’s alternate form is a three-legged spider who can cloak if he stops moving. Weavel seperates into two pieces: an autoturret and a sword-wielding torso. Spire becomes a heated ball of magma that is extremely large and devestating.

With the seven diverse hunters come seven diverse weapon types, including some grenade launchers, a weapon that shoots lightning bolts, and my favourite - the sniper rifle known as The Imperialist. Unprecedented levels of fun are sure to follow when you’re playing as Trace and getting headshots on all the “n00bs” with your Imperialist. Unfortunately - to no fault of the game - I am unable to take the multiplayer experience into the online arena. Perhaps, after tweaking the router or buying a Nintendo WiFi DS Adapter, I may be able to truly experience the frenzy of multiplayer Metroid.

If you have not bought this game, but you own a DS, run to a store and fork over the cash or else you will regret it.

RATING: 9.4/10

…as any fan of Rare and Nintendo’s former union might have reacted upon reading this.

It seems that the editor from IGNRevolution had a brief sit down with representatives of Microsoft and Rare while he was attending the Game Developers Conference last week, and he learned of some startling news.

No Rare licensed games will be available on Nintendo’s virtual console. As a result, a whole new generation of gamers will be deprived of Banjo-Kazooie, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, Goldeneye 007 and - tragically - Perfect Dark. And I want to shove my fist through someone’s face when I think about no one being able to play Battletoads!

A lot of Rare’s early works with Nintendo were immensely successful and extremely popular due to the fact that they were solid games. However, no one else will be able to experience that unless they dig up a used N64 and equip themselves with the means to replace cartridge batteries after a few decades have worn them out.

R.I.P. Rare Titles.

That spiny devil known as Microsoft has corrupted your good name.

I really, really, pray that this is entirely false.

Unfortunately, the eBay auction that inspired this post has since been removed, so I can only link to the Kotaku news article which led me to it.

It seems that someone was selling two E3 2006 exhibit passes on eBay. I found this interesting, because of the idea the rest of us were throwing around.

We were considering attending E3 and doing a live podcast from the showroom floor. E3 is not a public event, but rather, it is only for members of the interactive entertainment industry. In order to prove your affiliation with the industry, you are required to be a registered company and provide two forms of identification that proves this.

So, Josh suggested that we register the Red Card Group as a company, and apply for a company credit card, which would easily satisfy the required documentation. Now, since you also need to be 18 or older, the only eligible members of the group for E3 would be Binks, myself and Brian.

It is quite an interesting idea, although the cost is huge and the likelihood of success is non-existent.

Still, it would have been fun.

I’ve encountered a bit of a snag in several games.

In Tales of Phantasia, I am entrenched in the the Forest of Ymir, which has numerous paths branching out in all directions without any sense of direction. I was told by an NPC that I should “enlist the services of the wildlife”, which I assume means “go through the exit that has animals nearby”. However, this does not work like it did in Tales of Symphonia, so I have been wandering around recklessly for hours.

In Metroid Prime Hunters, I was stuck, until Kevin managed to point out the vast wealth of areas open to me in the Celestial Archives. I have no obtained 5 Octoliths, and 5 weapons (WMDs). As a result, I am only missing Trace’s disturbingly powerful sniper rifle. Upon acquiring it, I will become the most elite bounty hunter in the galaxy.

As for Tetris, well, I’ve got some decent scores. I have 1.5 million in Catch, and a little over 100 000 in Standard. The Touch mode and Puzzle mode are coming along nicely, as is the Mission mode. The Push mode is giving me grief. I have no luck with it whatsoever. I keep losing.

After playing Tetris for a while, I got bored and decided to see if - by some act of God - my DS could connect to the Nintendo Wi-Fi network using my piece of shit router. To my surprise, it did. And I was able to get four matches of Tetris in before my DS died on me. I scored 3rd, 3rd, 1st and 2nd. It was decent for my first outing on the web.

All in all, these games are good fun. When my DS is charged, I’m going to try playing Metroid Prime Hunters on Wi-Fi, now that I have learned of the possibility being available. Will I get my ass kicked? I hope so, otherwise it might not be interesting.