…Some of the deadlines are so retarded. Deadlines appear and require you to do things that you cannot possibly be eligible for until after the deadline of the required item.

Case in point, my UW Bursary application needs some information about OSAP, which I cannot apply for until May. However, they want the information by April 14th.

Why is this system so fucked up!?

For the next few days, I doubt there will be any posting on this blog due to a complete entanglement with almost half a dozen games. Now, in my defense, there is not a whole lot to report on. But you say, “Jordan, the Game Developers Conference is going on right now. Isn’t that worth providing commentary for?”

The simple answer is no, followed by a swift kick to your head. Reading over some of the keynote addresses at the GDC is boring, because they are saying things that I, and others, have been aware of for ages. The stagnation of gaming creativity, the throbbing sea of licensed games, mainstream disenchantment, etc. Quite old news. It worries me to think that, even though these issues are being brought up, they will quickly be neglected again. Some companies strive towards innovation. Others claim they are and release Grand Theft Auto clones and EA Sports titles. It’s a tough world…

I just want to break away from that topic by talking about my complete and utter obsession with my Nintendo DS right now. I’ve been playing Tales of Phantasia and Metroid Prime Hunters rather religiously for the past few days.

In Tales of Phantasia, I’m visiting a lot of areas that are extremely familiar from Tales of Symphonia. When walking through the Ymir Forest, they were laid out in a disturbingly similar fashion. Even the village and the placement of the inn were the same.

The gameplay is fantastic. I’m surprised that something two dimensional can provide as much exciting gameplay as its three-dimensional counterparts. Despite graphical setbacks, this ten year old Namco RPG is proving to be an extremely thrilling experience. I’m 11 hours in, and the end is a distant thought.

Hunters is hard. I mean, insanely hard. The game centers around capturing Octoliths in order to unearth some sort of powerful weapon. The story is a little bland, but the battles. My God! So far, I’ve fought Spire, Voxus, Graden, Trace, and Weavel. Using my expert skill, I have managed to kill them all once (although Trace was a royal pain in the ass). I have yet to encounter Sylux, and I have three Octoliths under my belt. Now, having 3/8 critical objectives and having easily vanquished 5/6 major enemies may mislead you into thinkiing the game is a cakewalk. Hell no.

I’ve had to take breaks from playing - repeatedly - because my wrist and fingers hurt so much from firing so fast. I’ve been jumping around, charging shots, firing missiles, and sweating buckets in fear that I might be killed and forced to reclaim an Octolith.

It is so addictive. I’ve got to really focus on beating these games though, so that I can finally get rid of the backlog of games I have yet to play. God of War, Resident Evil 2 and 3, Prince of Persia 2 and 3, SOCOM: Fireteam Bravo. I need to complete these games with a great deal of haste, so that I can move on. So many games…

And Worms, Tetris DS and LostMagic are still on the horizon…

So, yeah. No new blog posts for a little while.

I’m also watching an absurd amount of anime now. Neon Genesis Evangelion is a little too “fucked up in the head” for my taste, however I am enjoying Chobits and Ghost in the Shell. I may even dabble in Magic Teacher Negi, if the opportunity presents itself.

L8R.

Yes, I am going to decree this.

My PSP has officially become worthless. Ever since Stu acquired Resident Evil 3, I will no longer require their PS1 Download Service that is going to be coming in the fall. Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories is going to be released on the PS2, in - what will likely be regarded as a bonehead move. Good work Sony. Take the PSP’s one amazing game and put it on a system so customers don’t have to buy your $300 product.

I have no immediate need for an mp3 player, and I rarely use the PSP to watch videos. It feels far too delicate to carry around on a regular basis, and - in fear of breaking it - I usually leave it at home. The games feel a bit too complicated and drawn out to pick up and play in a short spurt, which cannot be said for the Nintendo DS - a system that allows for short matches of Mario Kart DS, Meteos and now, Metroid Hunters.

After I complete SOCOM: Fireteam Bravo, I am going to look into how much money I can get for my Giga Pack. Considering everything is in good condition, and I bought it for 200 dollars less than the MSRP, I will be making a semi-decent profit on the system, which I can use for purchasing - perhaps - one of the Nintendo DS’ amazing upcoming titles.

Metroid Prime Hunters and Worms: Open Warfare are released today (well, a little confusion still surrounds Worms) and amazing titles such as Lostmagic and New Super Mario Bros. will be arriving in April. Nintendo is releasing all of these smash hit games too quickly, and there is no way in hell, heaven or earth that I could possibly acquire enough money to pay for everything and not end up on the street next year. My birthday has passed, and Christmas is so far away. What am I going to do!?!?

Oh, right. Ditch the PSP. Seriously Sony, you disappointed me. I contemplated buying Monster Hunter Freedom out of some sick obligation to the system, but now all I have to say is “fuck you”.

Brian, Caleb…I’ve seen the light. Can you ever forgive me for bedding a mistress that was not our glorious Lady Nintendo?

I just cannot believe people are still talking about this.

Duke Nukem is a name I have not focused on in ages. I literally mean that. Subtract half of my life away, and you get my age when I was playing Duke Nukem. Back in the day, the sole gaming-related possessions of my brother and I consisted of an old NES, Gameboys and our computer. We had never purchased an SNES, but - when the time came - we did invest in an N64. However, in the interim period, we were engrossed with computer gaming.

While I would play the original Myst whenever I was alone, Jake and I would often rally together to have a fun, mean-spirited game of Duke Nukem 3D. It was a joyous time. The graphics were cheesy, the character was a chauvanist pig (although we did not even know the word chauvanist at the time) and the enemies were giant pig cops. Nevertheless, every time we connected for a two player co-op mission, we would have an absolute ball.

Whether we were filling the cinema from the first level with laser trip mines in an attempt to blow eachother up, or desperately trying to survive the final boss battle in the football stadium, Duke Nukem 3D was an amazing game. It was also the very first FPS that my brother and I had ever played, and surely explains why Jake plays Counterstrike so obsessively, especially in the servers with Duke Nukem-like gimmicks.

So, it appears that in my haste to complete the Admission Information Form, which turned out to be surprisingly useless, I missed the application date to write the Euclid math contest. The deadline date was, apparently, February 19th, 2006 which was - shockingly - the same date that I received notification of my acceptance to Waterloo.

Now, I feel like a bit of an idiot. I probably should have arranged for a math class in second semester so that I would have actually heard about the deadline, although I doubt anyone in our school would have announced anything. I mean, they do not even get the other math contests because they cost too much.

But that’s unfair. I’m just pissed, even though I probably would have done poorly.

It seems that no one has been able to actually prove or disprove Microsoft’s wishes to travel into the handheld gaming market, but - for whatever reason - everyone is reporting on it as if Microsoft has announced it. If they are planning some portable release, we’re probably not going to hear anything until E3, and even then, it will be drowned out by PS3 and Revolution news.

Although a Microsoft handheld would be interesting, by the time they are able to get it on store shelves, everyone will already have accumulated a substantial DS or PSP library, and I cannot see a Microsoft handheld being priced at anything that could be misconstrued as “portable”. Nintendo has the fortune of creating many franchises back in the 2D days, and Sony birthed franchises in the days of basic 3D gaming. If Microsoft went to portables, they’d be entering uncharted territory, and many of their popular franchises would take a graphical hit on a portable system. Moreover, the gameplay would not lend itself (unless the system is an XBox controller with a built in screen).

It’ll be interesting to see what surfaces at E3 about this though. I’m assuming it is a rumor.