Recently on GamePolitics, Jack Thompson posted this interesting link to a 9 minute video from the Christian Game Developers Foundation.

Watch The Video

This is probably the most unworthy charitable cause in existence. In a world where we are experiencing untold devestation at the hands of natural disasters and foreign wars, not to mention local effects of homelessness and poverty, the fact that people would ask for your money to make a game to then charge you MORE money is sickening, to put it lightly.

I also chuckle at the fact that a clip of Sonic The Hedgehog for the SEGA Genesis was displayed in their brief violent montage before the children’s interview. And, Super Smash Bros. has no real violence whatsoever. Oh my! Before you know it, people will be throwing Bob-ombs at eachother and hitting their friends with frying pans.

And that interview with the children was such bullshot. Those kids had to have consumed record amounts of sugar and juice before that interview began.

And how can you ask if they have any Christian video games? How the hell do you even make a Christian video game?

Rockstar Games really fucked things up.

Granted, the games they make are a real treat, and a quality experience because of their open-ended nature. Andreas owns Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories for his PSP, and has hardly completed any missions. He simply drives around on his motorcycle all day, taking it off some sweet jumps and crashing into a pile of steel, flesh and tacky Italian fatigues from the 90’s. But I’ve explored the allure of GTA games in previous articles.

What I cannot fathom - at this point in the game - is why the National Institute for Media and the Family is turning to the Electronic Software Ratings Board - hellfire burning in their pupils - and constantly trying to demolish and rebuild the rating system as they see fit. Over the past eleven years of its existence, they have done an insanely good job in providing fair ratings to all games presented to them.

Then, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas comes along and threatens to collapse the entire infrastructure of gaming and bring it crumbling down onto the heads of other developers, publishers, and geeks worldwide. The controversial Hot Coffee modification has upset quite a few powerful people. Senators Hilary Clinton and Joe Lieberman have become quite outspoken about video game rating systems.

However, even the two senators gave the ESRB the credit they deserved when they re-assessed the rating, and influenced Take-Two Entertainment to refurbish Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas so that the Hot Coffee sex mini-game was absent. Now, consumers who are interested can still purchase Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas in its re-released form, devoid of strange pixelated deviance.

So, why doesn’t the NIMF cut the ESRB a break? Anyone who has been following the issue has seen in every related article that the NIMF claims that the ESRB rating system suffers a staggering flaw. The reviewers at the ESRB do not actually play through the entirety of a game to review it. Essentially, the review system works as follows:

A game developer has reached a point in development where their end product is presentable, but not polished. However, elements like the story, content, graphics, etc have already been hammered out. The only remaining tasks before the games final release are bug checking, beta testing, and other related touch-ups. It is at this point that it is submitted to the ESRB for review.

The developers take footage of the most violent, disturbing, sexual and controversial parts of their products gameplay - if any, as is the case for E titles - and submit it to the ESRB. Footage of regular gameplay is included as well, to confirm that the four aforementionned qualities are not evident throughout.

Then, reviewers with no affiliation with the industry (i.e., they do not actually work full-time for the ESRB, ESA or any affiliated companies) are brought in and assist in the reviewing process by guaging the severity of the game based on the “worst parts”. These reviewers are sensitive to the effects of dangerously violent material, as the ESRB insists that reviewers have some previous experience with children (parents, teachers, counsellors, etc). The reviewers assess the content of the game - independantly of eachother, I might add - and submit a final judgement to the ESRB. The final rating, including all rating descriptors, are submitted back to the developer so that the game publisher can add them to the packaging before they are produced and shipped.

In the case of Hot Coffee, the controversial code in question was not part of the actual gameplay. That is to say, there was no way to access this code unless some sort of modification tool was used. Hot Coffee - without the aid of Action Replays and online mod communities - would have never been witnessed by consumers. In this sense, neither Rockstar nor the ESRB did anything wrong by their regulations at the time. Rockstar submitted all in-game footage, and the ESRB fairly and accurately reviewed it. Done deal.

A mistake was made. However, it was quickly fixed. The ESRB now insists that even code which is not accessible in regular gameplay must be reviewed to decide the rating of a game, which is likely to make developers hesitate from even contemplating blatantly graphic or sexual games of any type in the future. As any developer knows, serious sexual content in a game leads to an automatic “Adults Only” rating, which results in many retailers across the continent NOT carrying your product. If your product does not end up on store shelves, it does not sell. Therefore, an “Adults Only” rating = death of game.

In a recent article on 1-UP.com surrounding the issue - which actually inspired me to write this blog post in the first place - the NIMF are quoted in saying that the rating system for the ESRB is constantly sliding. Blois Olson claims that “a Mature rated game in 2005 is more violent and contains more explicit content than an M-rated game from 2003”. And that can be true. But M is all encompassing of violent material, whether it be several missions involving gunplay or blowing up an entire city block with explosives, violence is violence and it falls under Mature. The ESRB cannot be creating infinite strata for every discernable degree of violence. In that rating system, would M to the power of 3 really mean a damn thing to anyone?

Video games are not given ratings in relation to eachother. They are rated independantly. The 2005 title may be extremely violent, and the 2003 title mildly violent, but they are still violent, and thus, are Mature. Specifically, they would be given different descriptors to accompany that rating. Perhaps the 2005 title would feature the descriptors: “Intense Violence, Mature Humor and Nudity” while the 2003 title would feature the descriptors: “Mild Violence, Animated Blood”.

The problem is retailers and child advocacy groups intensely stress the importance of the rating, but hardly focus on the value of the descriptors. If people knew what the descriptor “Animated Blood” meant in relation to “Blood and Gore”, they would be able to better guage whether a game is suitable or not for their child.

And, in essence, that is what it boils down to: parenting. All of this controversy about violent content in video games is just another example of my favourite anomaly in the world: hands-off parenting. So many couples seem to want their kids to be raised for them by other people. Whether it be leaving the kids with a babysitter, grandparent, daycare or playgroup - parents are spending less and less time with their kids and more and more time at their jobs, or just being apathetic to the child raising experience. As a result, parents are developing this “hands-off” approach to parenting. If they knew what they were purchasing their kids, or actually took an interest in the types of media their child was regularly consuming, everyone would be better off.

So many times, a parent and child have come into Zellers looking for video games. The child greedily tugs at their parents coat and says, “I want that one”. The parent groans and says, “Are you sure that is the one you want?” The kid nods enthusiastically, and the parent hands over the cash without even looking at the back of the box. Honestly, a child could easily walk out of our store with a copy of Killer 7 or Grand Theft Auto if Zellers did not have rules in place to not sell M-rated games to anyone under 18. If a parent goes to purchase one, we have to explain to them the violent nature of the game and how it may not be suitable for people of that age. Usually, the parent just cuts me off and waits for their receipt.

Yet, when something goes wrong, apparently the video game industry is the one dropping the ball. The ESRB can only take on step further to protect the children of the US and Canada: give me a taser to zap all the idiot parents out there who do not give a damn.

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Coming Up Later…

Why Aren’t Developers Doing Anything With The PSP?

Hands-Off Parenting: This Entry Will Make Me Sound Like A Chauvanist

February 1st had been a night that I’d been anticipating since Christmas time, when my father in a tone drowned in fatigue and apathy for the holiday season drolled on about Great Big Sea tickets for their Stratford concert. Nevertheless, the news hit home. I ensured that I wouldn’t be called to work, and cleared my schedule (it was covered in lint).

Any reader possessing a calendar, or a keen sense of logic that first read the date of this entry, will quickly realize that February 1st was two nights ago. Yes. Great Big Sea has already come and gone. And you weren’t there. What is your malfunction?

The band was awesome. I’ve been listening to them - through the divine influence of my parents - since early in their career. Their blend of Maritime folk songs with modern rock is very refreshing, and the rhythm that their tunes convey makes you want to dance (and sing, if you have the pipes for it).

Despite the passion for their music, my family had never had the luxury of seeing them in concert during their original formation. This left me a little crestfallen because I thought Darrell Power was an essential item to the band. And indeed, his playing of the bass guitar will be missed. Yet, when listening to the new group, you can hardly distinguish the Torontonian replacement - Murray Foster - from the East Coast boys. And then, of course, Kris MacFarlane - percussions - is an extremely silent and creepy addition to the band. I say this because he does not speak, and for the entirety of the concert he had a hat pulled down over his eyes.

Perhaps he has stage fright.

Nevertheless, the concert Wednesday night was seriously kick ass. I was worried that it would discourage GBS from ever returning to Stratford in future tours as I expected our audience to be full of uptight fans of the group, who would rather sit and absorb the music than tear the place apart with jumping, clapping, cheering and singing. My fears were almost a reality three minutes into the first set, when I saw a woman walk two rows up to tell a younger fan to sit down. It made me sad. However, by the time they busted out Lukey’s Boat, people were jumping and dancing and you couldn’t stop them. There was even a heavily pregnant woman right up by the stage shaking her swelling belly to the sound of the music. My prayers go out to the baby, who may have serious brain damage considering the volume of the music (due to inept sound guys, there was crackling and cutting out of instruments and microphones during the first four or five songs).

Overall, the first set was mellow songs, and a lot of their slower stuff. The second set was classic GBS. All their fast songs like Mari-Mac and A Boat Like Gideon Brown, as well as Ordinary Day, Consequence Free and Helmethead turned up in the second set, to the delight of everyone (especially myself, because Mari-Mac is my favourite song). Through all these songs, everyone in the audience was up on their feet. For Mari-Mac and Gideon Brown, I was belting out the lyrics. Kevin Branson - who I discovered that night was a big fan - belted out the lyrics to Rant and Roar. My father applauded enthusiastically at the end of The Scolding Wife because he claims it reminds him of my mother. Tut tut tut. Needless to say, the second set was enjoyed by all. There wasn’t a seat used during that set.

They graced the crowd with a double encore, which featured their new songs The Twelve Apostles from their “The Hard and The East” album. They also sang another favourite, Excursion Around The Bay. However, I can honestly say that song sounded better with Darrell’s voice behind it. All the ladies in the crowd screeched a their a cappella singing of Old Brown’s Daughter. Frankly, I think it was because the boys moved closer to the front of the stage.

All in all, this concert rocked hardcore and I’ve got the T-Shirt to prove it. It has the cover of “The Hard and the Easy” on the front, and the tour dates on the back. I will treasure it always. Another thing I can treasure is the numbness in my hands and my scratched leg - both wounds from clapping too hard and stomping my feet too much.

We’re going to see them again, when they hit K-W area in May. Rock on!

An hour and a half ago, my family and I got back from the Festival Theatre where we got to see Great Big Sea rock our socks off with some East Coast tunes.

It was freakin’ awesome.

I wont go into details, since I doubt any of the people who read this blog have an interest in Great Big Sea. However, it kicked ass.

“Mari-Mac’s mother’s makin’ Mari-Mac marry me!”

Maybe I’ll write something more substantial later.

Any avid gamer, such as myself, had predicted an eventual Nintendo DS redesign fairly early in the portable consoles lifespan. After all, Nintendo has a habit of improving their products beyond their initial design, and then finding flaws again until they can perfect it and ensure every consumer has 4 different GameBoy’s under their belts.

The information about the new redesign was only stumbled upon by me today, which should be satisfactory as it was only announced on IGN’s DS section within the past few hours. Unlike the GameBoy Advance SP’s improvement over its predecessor, the Nintendo DS Lite, as it has been coined, will feature very little innovation in features. Some of the buttons have been moved, the system has been made smaller, and the microphone has been moved to the hinge of the two screens, rather than the bottom of the system. The one interesting feature is a brightness adjuster, which gives the user four settings to choose from to conserve battery power. The only thing is, the DS hardly uses any juice as it is running for 14 hours of gameplay before needing a recharge. Do gamers really need to conserve power? Don’t they sleep?

All new “innovations” aside, I am completely dumbfounded that the announcement for a redesign came so quickly. After all, the Nintendo DS only came out in the holiday season of 2004. After a little over a year, is it entirely crucial to have a redesign?

To my knowledge, gamers have not been complaining readily about the DS’s button or microphone positioning (at least not in large numbers). Yes, battery conservation has been an issue, but then again, some people should consider eating, sleeping and using the toilet.

The most pressing arguements against the entire existence of the DS is the lack of functionality: limitations inherent to the “operating system” that Nintendo uses to segue between DS play, GBA play and Pictochat is an inconvenience. That could have used some redesign, if they fully intend to repair the misdeeds of the DS’s first iteration. Gamers have complained about the DS’s inability to show the time, or play videos, or the size of the screen.

While the system may not be suited to playing videos, it would have been nice to have been given a larger screen. Of course, the key factor is that Nintendo is intending to manufacture the Nintendo DS Lite for cheaper than the original, and a larger LCD screen would increase costs. However, it would have been ideal to create a “home” feature to bring the Nintendo DS back to its main screen so the system does not have to be powered off and on again if you wish to check the time, or switch which game you intend to play.

The system is going to hit store shelves sometime after March, so until then, I will have to discourage regular DS sales out of spite.

Ah well…I guess I can hope they will deliver bigger and better on the Nintendo DS 3.0

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Another story worthy of announcement is the bone-headed move of release date scheduling for two games: Metroid Prime Hunters and Worms: Open Warfare. In a brilliant piece of marketing, both highly anticipated titles are being released on the exact same day. This tiny bit of strategic planning has left me confused as to the truth of the situation. It is unlikely that companies would release two of their most amazing and anticipated releases on the same day. Other than multi-console launches, highly anticipated franchises are usually seperated.

Case in point, Resident Evil: Deadly Silence and Super Monkey Ball DS are two popular franchises that are being released a week apart. The interim period is filled with no-body games. Super Princess Peach is being released a week after Monkey Ball. Then, all of a sudden, three weeks go by with no new releases until we arrive at Hunters, Worms, and Tetris DS, all released on the 20th. It strikes an odd chord, which resonates to the point of a skull cavity detonation.

My only fear is that one of my coveted games (Hunters or Worms, who gives a shit about Tetris with Meteos out) will be pushed back into oblivion (or even a week would be unbearable). Delaying the release of one of these games could be possible though, considering the spring and summer are - as of yet - full of no satisfactory releases.

I suppose only time will tell.

Between bouts of fatigue and sleep, I’ve graced the conscious world a few times. The first time was my longest period of unsleep, consisting of school and an extremely pointless council meeting. Indeed, during this meeting we discussed the finer points of the original Spiderman and Rocket Robin Hood. Quite irrelevant.

After falling asleep and waking again, I particpated in a brief stint of voting. Quite good. Very thrilling.

Again, I drifted in and oout of sleep: now, I’m watching the newest season of 24. It is fantastic! My God! After two failed Seasons, they are finally doing something right.