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What’s On The Agenda? - The Unveiling
Act One: Political Career
Woe is me.
I was all prepped and psyched to run for Minister of Communications in my student council this year. I thought it would be an interesting job. Make a website, write some news articles, no big deal. Sadly, this was not the case. This election wasn’t going to be as cut and dry as I expected. Brian Maloney is also running for Minister of Communications, as is Brian Coulton and some other chick.
I was prepared to make posters with comics on them - as Binkle suggested - and post them around the school, but now I’ve lost the motivation. I get so bored with things so easily. Instead, I’ve considered dropping out of the running, and just letting the two Brians ram heads with that other chick. I don’t know. It’s difficult to say. It all depends on how early I finish my history essay tomorrow.
So much homework. I just remembered that my religion reflection paper is due next week. I haven’t even gotten the outline for it yet. Man, I’m screwed.
Act Two: Writing Stuff
Still trying to work out the short story starring Caleb, Jenn, Binkle, Amy and Andrew. If I threw Dean in there somehow, I might be able to simply parallel true life events as they occur. Caleb and Dean are at odds right now. Their love for a certain woman has turned their lives bittersweet, and killed the friendship as it once stood.
I know the feeling. I’ve been there. My situation is a bit different though. Caleb houses a passionate rage towards Dean, and Dean seems to be having a tough time getting past it. Harder than me actually. I talked to Andrew and Amy about things for a while, and then eventually just shut up about it. Dean is clinging to Caleb like some sort of leach, and he seems to want to be with Caleb more than the femme fatale. I find that so absolutely bizarre. You think Dean would backstab Caleb to get the girl or something. I’m not saying he should. I’m saying it’d be some sort of primal instinct.
In addition to this short story, I’ve also thought of this concept for a “coming of age, teen drama” that I’m sure could be sold to Fox and end up being the next “OC” or “That 70’s Show”. Kind of a basic premise, but I haven’t really worked out anything with it. I’ll probably lose interest in it again soon…we’ll see.
Act Three: What’s The Cost of Friendship?
Looking at the situation between Caleb and Dean, and the situation between Binkle, Andrew and I has made me ask a lot of questions. What is the cost of friendship? What does friendship even mean anymore? When people say ‘friends forever’, do they really believe it?
Caleb and Dean were the best of friends, until a girl came between them. Love is a finicky thing, and can devestate entire countries in its passionate fits. Because of this one situation, Caleb and Dean are splitting apart. Their friendship has ended. It’s all over. I don’t understand it.
Consider Andrew and myself. During the summer, the girl that came between us was Amy. She made her choice, Andrew made his, and I made several which turned out to be poor ones. A freak arrangement of bad luck and equally bad timing landed me firmly in the loser seat of the whole situation. Or so I thought…In the following months, when Amy started acting like a real bitch, I began to wonder exactly what it was that I saw in her. At first, her bubbly socialite personality was appealing, but then it disappeared. She was like Satan luring you in by pretending he was Jesus (although I must state for the record that I find neither Satan nor Jesus sexually appealing in any way). Now Andrew and I rarely do stuff together, and he always acts so bizarre around me. I’ve talked to him about how I like other girls now - I figured he still thought I liked Amy - yet the awkwardness still persists. I also mentionned how I think Dianne likes him, and now he seems to be showing off in math class. But that’s another story (and maybe Melissa can provide insight on this).
Consider Amy, Binkle and me. We were close, in the sense that we used to do stuff all the time. It never seemed like Amy really liked Binkle. We went to the movies once, and she shared her brownies with me, but ignored Binkle’s request for a bite. She always was grossed out by his humourous antics where he would put his feet up on you and treat you as a foot stool. He always seemed to be a match to her tempermental powderkeg. And it isn’t like he was trying either. Binkle is just Binkle. Live with it, or don’t. She chose not to. In fact, she seems to dislike both Binkle and I to the highest measure possible. I don’t really know why, and I imagine we’ll never know. In a few months, Binkle wont care. I might have to put up with her for another year…
Now, consider Binkle and Andrew.
If you look at the friendship of our little triad, there is an interesting pattern. In Grade School, when Binkle first moved to our town, I became good friends with him. In fact, I began to hang out with him more than my original group of friends. Then, Andrew came. Andrew and Binkle became really good friends. In fact, there was one summer where Binkle spent most of his time at Andrew’s house, and I rarely saw him. Until Grade Nine, I don’t think I had ever been inside Andrew’s house.
But anyway, in high school, I became good friends with Andrew. Binkle stayed good friends with Andrew. Everyone was happy. But then…good God, what happened? Now, Binkle hates Andrew with a passion. Our friendship is in shambles. The only reason we treat eachother civily seems to be on account of some lie we are all content to live. It’s bizarre, and I can’t quite figure it out.
Andrew and Binkle will be on the same university campus next year. Odds are, they wont see eachother, or keep in touch in any way. In fact, I think within a few months, our friendships will have fallen apart entirely. Completely decimated.
This is why I question what friendship really is. Are we merely kidding ourselves? Has it been some six year joke that we throw away and pretend we didn’t enjoy it? I don’t know…I just don’t know. I wonder why we even both to live the lie. Is it simply for the right to bitch and moan about something? Add a bit of flavour to our lives? Conflict?
Gah…its just…madness.
What’s On The Agenda?
What to expect on the next episode of Jordan’s blog.
Act One: Political Career
I’m going to run for Communications Minister.
Act Two: Writing Stuff
I’m writing stuff. Got an idea from the Arts Gala…well, indirectly.
Act Three: What’s the cost of friendship?
I’ll elaborate more.
The Cat Is Out Of The Bag
Act One: Crap. Crap. Crap.
Currently, I am experiencing extreme agitation. Why? It is on account of the recent unearthing of this little slice of seclusion by one Melissa Plant (used a last name). To my surprise, she stumbled upon my blog and set forth to reading every article. Now, it is quite possible she knows many of my deep and dark secrets.
This strange and disorienting event is, of course, due to my own foolishness. Inside my MSN profile, I included the link to this blog as well as many comments urging the reader to pay me a visit. Yes. Dangerously, I held the sword above my own head and let it fall.
Will she end up being trustworthy? I cannot say at this point in the game. She may be an excellent keeper of secrets. On the other hand, she may use this newfound power of hers to haunt me for not taking her on the dance floor at prom for a twirl. What does the future hold for this bizarre occurance, only time and money will tell?
Perhaps I should demand to know all of her little secrets…
I’ll ponder this possibility.
Act Two: Urinating on Dostoevsky’s Grave
Within the next 5 and a half hours, I am supposed to write a very lengthy and intelligent essay comparing the works of Shakespeare and Dostoevsky, Macbeth and Crime and Punishment, respectively.
Binks is required to write the same assignment. He is likely working on it, while I am dealing with damage control (see Act One, if you somehow missed it). Binks has not yet finished C&P;, and with good reason. Dostoevsky couldn’t write anything but dialogue. The man was destined for movie scripts. It was all dialogue.
“Please, don’t hate me for this. Oh, look, we have reached my front doorstep. I will now open the door and we may enter. Don’t look at me like that, now that we have entered into my humble home. My, is that a rag over there. Filthy and wretched.”
Thanks Fyodor. Why not write it something like:
Jordan and Binkle approached the front doorstep of their university dorm room.
“Please don’t hate me for this,” Binkle muttered as he opened the door and stepped into the common room. The common room was in disarray. The floor was stained, and there was a filthy rag to one side with flies buzzing wildly about. Jordan looked with disdain at Binkle’s choice of dorm room.
“Don’t look at me like that,” said Binkle, “I regret it just as much as you.”
Wow. Groundbreaking. Throwing something in that wasn’t dialogue. I’m a true visionary. Anyway, the essay shouldn’t be too hard to write. I just wish I knew how to begin. Normally, I’d start with a quote. But about what? Madness? Writing? Jesus? Mr. Sinko? Good grief this is difficult. Curse you Fyodor. Curse you.
Episode Three: The Third Act
READ BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU ARE A FOOL AND GREATLY DESIRE TO READ SOME SPOILERS. IF YOU ARE A FOOL, THEN I LAUGH AT YOU
Saw Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith in theatres yesterday. Excellent opening scene. Then, there was a whole lot of crap filler with “romantic” scenes between Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen. Portman was a loser throughout the whole film, even when giving birth. Christensen was a big whiny Jedi until he went to the Jedi Temple and killed all the other Jedi. Wicked cool scene, especially with the little kids. Then, the acting was stagnant again. Of course, the movie returned to a time of interesting fight scenes when Yoda fights Palpatine and when Obi-Wan fights Anakin.
All in all, the last twenty minutes or so were amazing.
Poof of logic.
The End Of All Things
Act One: The Prom
Dressed to the nines, the St. Michael population congregated in the St. Michael’s Auditorium known fondly as Eckert Hall. The Grecian sculptures littered around the room were a somewhat sloppy testament to the theme of the prom, and the empty room that greeted me at 8:30 was testament to the popularity of this event. After mingling around for a few minutes, Binkle and Erin showed up. Shortly following, Andrew and Amy strolled through the door.
We chatted, made small talk, chuckled, and sat down. And for four excruciating hours, I sat there doing nothing. It’s not that I wanted to do nothing. For some reason, my will power could not drive me to stand up and walk over to Dianne Murray and ask her for a dance.
First of all, she didn’t arrive with her friends until 10:03. Afterwards, most of the slow songs saw her dancing with some country macho guy or Travis Ricard (a mutual friend who also likes her). Battling an internal war on the issue, I opted to not ask her to dance, lest the fullness of the situations awkwardness be unveiled. Miserable, I sat at the table for a long while. At one point, Erin asked me to dance. I refused as politely as possible and continued my brooding.
The event, although an all-around disappointment in regards to my personal enjoyment, was a success with others. To see a giddy Erin S. run onto the dance floor dragging behind a stumbling and confused Vincent was quite a sight. Fraser’s authentic Chinese garb was also interesting, as well as Andreas’ mobster ensemble.
There were other moments of particular interest, but basically I am in eternal regret for not going over to Dianne - in her beautiful yellow dress - and asking for a dance.
The depression of the whole event decimated my writer’s block.
Act Two: The Banquet
A few hours ago (at least it was when I began writing this post), I returned from the 46th Annual John “Jack” A. Hamilton Rotary Honours Banquet (quite a mouthful, I know). Essentially, it is event where a great number of things occur so fast you believe you were sodomized by the Flash.
Firstly, the Rotary Club members gather together with the students on the Honour Rolls of my town’s three high schools (Central, Northwestern and St. Mikes). The students feel honoured for being invited to a dinner, and are positively ecstatic over the prospect of a free meal. The Rotary members feel good about themselves because they get to appear as high and mighty role models for the students. There was a guest speaker, a good meal, etc, etc.
Ultimately, there was one supreme virtue and one supreme vice to the whole event.
I’ll begin with the virtue, since I would like the virtue to provide an extra sting as you consider it.
The Virtue: The event was attended by all the academic minds from all three high schools. My elementary school crush, Rachel Kyle, attends Central. Consequently, I haven’t seen her in four years. But she attended this banquet. It felt good to see her. I tried to talk to her when we arrived, but she was surrounded by all of her Central friends. As we were leaving, I tried to catch up with her to get a word in. But, I couldn’t. Some granny got in my path on her way to shake hands with the Rotary President. I didn’t want to go to such extreme lengths as yelling out to her, so I watched as she passed through the Legion doorway and back into the shadows of my past and the crevices of my memories.
The Vice: St. Mikes (my school) was poorly represented. During the banquet, a student from each of the three schools was called upon to present a speech. The Central student had written a terrible speech. It was well presented, and well received, but it was so poorly written. The Northwestern student followed. His speech was written better, and was presented worse. He stuttered a lot, and was soft spoken. Then, there was St. Mikes. The speaker - Jenna T. - was only apprised of her public speaking duties upon her arrival at the event. So, this poor girl goes up there with a scrap of lined paper and talks about anything she can think of, in no particular order. It was embarrassing for our school. After her speech, the Master of Ceremonies asked how many members of each school were present. A huge cheer erupted from Central when asked. Northwestern resonated with a slightly lesser tone. And when St. Mikes was called upon, the room was silent. So, with some school pride and anger towards our administration, I yelled out “Alright!!!”
It was terrible. Absolutely terrible. The free meal was hardly worth it.
Act Three: The Future
What looms over the horizon? It’s difficult to say. The end of the year is fast approaching. Deadlines for assignments are coming with it.
On April 25th, Binks and I will be attending the Arts Banquet and receiving awards for our participation in our school’s radio program. This award is because we are the wittiest people on Warrior Radio, and we make sure to tell everyone of that on a regular basis.
Graduation is coming up. We have yet to learn of our Valedictorian’s true identity. I know that I got at least two votes. Binkle probably received quite a few (since all my friends voted for him). A kid named Brian D. at our school received a lot due to someone stealing ballots and fudging the voting process. Word on the street - a metaphorical street - is that Jaymie Sampa, a girl at our school involved in dancing and other such things, will be our valedictorian. Congratulations to her…but man does that bite for those of us who really wanted it.
I guess that’s it for now. I’ll try to have something more interesting next time.
Sick and Tired, also Confused
Act Only One: Captured by a Delirium
Currently, I am not the most coherent of people. Nevertheless, I’m going to struggle to make a decent blog post out of my internet time. First, it will be notable to mention that my computer avoided the rapture, and the internet remains intact.
In addition to this, the defense defeated the prosecution in the trial known as the “State of Scotland vs. Mac-Daddy B”. With a triumphant victory yell, the defense team (Andrew, Denise and myself) vaulted over the tables and assaulted the prosecution (Binks, Travis and Maureen) with spears and other sharp projectiles. After their bodies could only be taken for Swiss cheese, we marched in triumph out of the portable, banners waving.
Of course, this victory briefly washed away the disgusting memories of things pre-trial, such as Andrew sodomizing the defendant. I’m not going to elaborate on that one. The imagination is a lovely tool, and I want to see it truly run rampant amongst the masses.
My newly acquired G2 is pretty cool. I feel so independant. I’m ecstatic. However, I think Binkle was terrified of driving with me. He corrected me on things three times, when I was - in fact - being over cautious. I’ve been told to drive defensively, and in fear of my life, I drive in a new matter of defense. I call it, ultra defense supreme v. 1.5.2. My vehicle is now outfitted with spikes and projectile weapons to assault nearby friendly or unfriendly vehicles, driving them off of the road and causing a fantastic pyrotechnics display for any citizens on foot.
With this lovely thought in mind, I felt compelled to make a poster for a new game I’m expecting soon. I’m giving it a five out of five stars even though it has not yet been released. You can tell just from this artwork that it’ll be bitchin’!
Hell ya! And Kate Koth is hot.