In the first Bits and Pieces, which will remain without an actual title because I am tired, I’m going to talk about Square Enix’s newest business plans, Jack Thompson’s latest tirades, the return of Heroes, Kennel Cough, the location of the missing Super Smash Bros. feature, and the future of The Box.

Hit the jump for more. (I cannot believe I just used that.)

1. Square Enix is not ready to devote games to any download service like XBox Live Arcade or the Nintendo Virtual Console. Why? They claim that it is because of the need for physical media, and a solid billing structure, but this is all garbage. The real reason is that Square Enix has recently shifted its business plan. Why make new games when you can release the old games again and again? And again, and again, and again. We’ve already seen the early Final Fantasy games released on the Famicom, NES, PS1 (in more than one package), Game Boy Advance, Nintendo DS (for FF III), and now the first two titles of the series will be appearing in an updated form on the Sony PSP.

I would not mind this so much if they would just release a Chrono Trigger remake or sequel (or both) for the Nintendo DS. Then, I could scoop that up, and never bother with a Square Enix game after that. Really, I do not play their games. Final Fantasy titles bore me. For RPGs, I prefer the Tales series from Namco. Nothing tops Symphonia. Nothing. So, Square Enix can sit in their little pit and re-re-release games until they have done more remastering than George Lucas. But you’re not going to win over anyone new.

2. Jack Thompson is angry. Not so much about the Virginia Tech shootings. His moments of showboating have passed. Now, he has switched into “The Aftermath” mode, where he begins to breath fire over any website or journalist who speaks a negative word about him. If Penny-Arcade makes a satirical comic, he will send some sort of legal threats to their offices. If IGN comments on the tactlessness of his “massacre-chasing”, then they will receive a strongly-worded letter. If Kotaku points out gaping holes in all of his arguments, he will get the FBI involved.

It’s the circle…the circle of life. Sing it Elton.

3. Heroes is back! And I could not be happier. I do not want to list any spoilers about what happened in .07%, but it was such a delicious set up for the finale. And it has put all of the heroes into some interesting places, as well as finally setting up an interesting path for Mohinder Suresh (who I seriously thought would be dead by now).

I’m so psyched that it is back though. I’ve been watching this video over and over again, waiting. I got to watch this episode on my PC, but next week, I’ll be leaving my last day of co-op to return to Village One to watch it in the common room with all my neighbours. Boo yah!

4. Sophie, our not-so-new dog who I first announced the name of in this post, has contracted an illness known as “Kennel Cough” from some dogs that she usually plays with at the dog park. For those of you who do not know, Kennel Cough is essentially the dog equivalent of influenza, except there is a lot more vomiting. I have had to watch her to make sure she does not choke on her own vomit and pull a Jimi Hendrix on us. Because of this, I was unable to finish my Super Smash Bros. feature in my two days off. I have most of the images uploaded though, and I will try to finish it in a free moment or two at work. Hopefully Sophie will pull through, and the articles will be finished before I am back in residence.

5. I want to take this opportunity to announce a few new things that I want to work into the blog. These new sections/features will all be put into effect slowly so that you all have less time to notice that I have yet to finish my new template. But don’t worry. It is coming. Anyway, the new sections will be two-fold:

• Bits and Pieces, which you are currently reading, is not always going to occur on a Wednesday. It is actually going to occur on Sunday from this point forward, and will serve as a bit of a weekly wrap-up to anything interesting that I discovered throughout the week, but did not warrant its own post. I’m sure you were all able to extrapolate that from this post. - Foxy Fridays is a new weekly feature that will come into effect at the request of Binkle. After vomiting for a record 25 hours following a glimpse of his gay Mexican roommate’s naked body, Binkle thought it would be interesting if I would post some of the extremely erotic background showcasing sexy females that I unearth in my travels through the interspace. So, in order to try to satisfy all of your insatiable appetites for the ladies, I am going to be posting sexy backgrounds for you to gawk at when you are in class (Andrew) or at home (the rest of you). Just…promise me you wont wrestle with your one-eyed monster while still at my blog. It would…dirty…everything.

Another thing worth noting is that I will be doing more features. I have two planned already which are titled:

1. From The Ashes: How To Jumpstart The Heart of the Star Fox Franchise Metroid Prime saved the Metroid series from the brink. Super Mario Galaxy is quoted as being “perfect”, and will serve to bring the Mario Bros. franchise back into its former glory. Twilight Princess has salvaged the somewhat ruined reputation The Legend of Zelda earned during the Wind Waker years. But what about Star Fox? When will it see an improvement? Or will it simply see a curtain call? _ 2. Favourite Franchises, Where Did You Go? It seems a lot of franchises have just dropped off of the map. I’m going to pick a few that I think should get a significant rebirth. _

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So, that is what I have planned for the future. As I said, the Super Smash Bros. Brawl feature should be wrapped up by May 1st. And we’ll get into the Star Fox one in the middle of May (since I need to do sketches for it).

And hopefully all of this material will distract you from the fact that there has not been a significant The Coin Op announcement in a while.

I am brimming with excitement. There is a mere eight more days until I will have been moved back into my sweet corner room in the University of Waterloo residences. I am so unbelievably psyched to be getting back on campus, especially for those sweet summer months. I’m excited about my classes and I’m excited about moving out of my house (again).

I’ve still got to get textbooks. I’m hoping the campus bookstore will not be as bad during the summer, so I’m thinking I’ll leave it until the 30th. Also, I wanted to get my books in one trip. There are two problems with this:

1. One of my courses, ENGL 108M, does not have a professor attached to it yet (apparently). With no professor attached, there is no selected booklist. So, I have no idea what to buy for it, and I’m not going to throw money away buying last terms booklist.

2. I talked to Andrew a little while ago about buying his CS134 textbook from him, but he has been incommunicado since then. I don’t know where he is. And I could have sworn I e-mailed him. But he has yet to reply. (While writing this, I checked my Sent Mail folder on Gmail and did not see the follow-up message I tried to send Andrew after he didn’t show up on MSN. It turns out that the message was never sent (likely due to my shitty internet flaking out), and it is sitting in my Drafts folder)

So, until both those things get sorted out, I’m abstaining from book buying.

There is one thing that concerns my about going back to the University of Waterloo…and that is the fact that I may be removed from the co-op program. Last term, I did not finish PD1 on time because I was frantically worrying about exams (read: important work). This year, I finished PD1 (with much suffering) and PD2, submitting my report on my experience writing reports as a report writer.

The marks for PD2 were finally calculated on April 20th. So, I rush onto UW-ACE to check my progress. I see a 0%. I do not think there is anything wrong with this at first. Maybe they have taken a while to get them up. But nope. The final marks are calculated. For the course. So surely my report must be marked.

I’d submitted my report twice. The first one was a rushed job. I read it over and did some minor tweaking before resubmitting it. The day after I submitted it, the first copy was marked zero. I assumed this was done so that no one would waste their time marking a useless report. But to this day, my revised report remains unmarked. I can only assume that I did not fail it. I would at least deserve some sort of commentary or assessment if that were the case.

No. It seems that these people do not care about my future in the co-op program (if I fail PD2, I’m out of co-op). So, they just threw my report into some dustbin somewhere, and neglected it. I still cannot fathom how such a stupid program can hold so much power over my future.

But…oh well.

In other news, I’m almost done acquiring Maya and 3ds Max through legitimate avenues that I prefer not to disclose. I figured the first thing that I would try doing is downloading those ripped Twilight Princess models that have been floating around, and animate a fight between Link and Ganondorf. This way, I’m starting off understanding basic movements, without having to actually design the models or textures by myself. And I will work backwards from that point.

Ah. The 2007 season at the Stratford Festival has started up, and I could not be happier to see one of my favourite plays on the Playbill this year. And - indeed - there is nothing as thrilling as entering that hallowed theatre and sitting mere feet from that jutting stage. When you are close enough to see the spit flying from the mouth of each actor like fountains, you can truly appreciate the atmosphere that is the theatre.

But then, of course, you are someone like me. You realize that while you may want to see an amazing show like King Lear, your lectures happen to start on the date performances start. Oh, cruel fate.

The worst part is, I even signed up for that PlayON program where they promote cheap tickets for certain people at certain performances. The problem is, after you have signed up for the program, you cannot find a single good ticket for any performance. They have one eligible performance per play and, if you cannot make it, then you are fucked.

Ugh…

Anyway, here are the plays that I was looking forward to see:

King Lear King Lear is one of Shakespeare’s most depressing trategies. In the final scene of the play, it seems that nearly everyone dies. My humblest apologies if I just spoiled Lear for you, but you have surely heard the bulk of the story by now. An old king decides to divide his kingdom amongst this three daughters based on who can profess their love the most. Goneril and Regan, his elder daughters, each speak false words of affection for their father in order to gain his favour. Meanwhile, Cordelia - the youngest and most loved - finds that she cannot ‘heave her heart into her mouth’ and that she can say nothing to top her sisters compliments. At this point, the old king - in the biggest overreaction conceivable, decides to disown his daughter Cordelia (although she ends up getting into bed with French royalty, so…). The story that follows is a malicious plot of betrayal: fathers against daughters, sons against fathers, and friends against friends.

This production stars Brian Bedford as Lear. The name meant very little to me (as my interest in Shakespeare is only a few years old), but he is a regular Shakespearean. He also does the voice of Robin Hood from the 1973 Disney movie, which is where the Hamster Dance lifted its tune from - in case you were interested. It also stars Wayne Best (Andrew and Binkle should still remember Mattie) in the role of the Duke of Cornwall. This means that Mattie’s dad will get to be a total douchebag, and his scene with the Earl of Gloucester (Scott Wentworth - Sky Masterson from Guys and Dolls) will be a real ‘eye-opener’ for all those who see it.

Synopsis: Dividing his kingdom among three daughters, an aging monarch makes a catastrophic error of judgment that plunges him and those around him into a terrible abyss of suffering.

This heartrending drama of madness, loss and reconciliation is widely considered to be Shakespeare’s greatest tragedy - perhaps even the greatest play ever written.

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To Kill A Mockingbird A play that is sure to be full of pirates and ninjas battling to destroy the malevolent Mockingbird, this play is somehow going to incorporate a final battle in space which will involve the throwing of bears at giant robot space ships and people blowing rockets up with the moon. Crazy shit.

Oh, wait. This is that story by Harper Lee. The one about racism and loss of innocence. Synopsis: Widowed lawyer Atticus Finch is raising his children in racially divided Maycomb, Alabama during the Great Depression.

A man of high principle, Atticus agrees to defend a young black man falsely accused of raping a white woman - but who will pay the price for his courage?

I loved reading this book in high school, and I was really looking forward to seeing this play. But alas, it appears it was never meant to be.

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Othello This is one of those Shakespearean tragedies that I have not have the pleasure of seeing or reading (yet). I’ve been slowly chugging through the Complete Works of William Shakespeare, which I purchased at Yesterday’s Books and Things, but it is time-consuming.

Anyway, this play is supposedly very intense. And I really wanted to see it. Synopsis: The overwhelming and sometimes destructive power of human emotion becomes all too clear when an honourable soldier, misled by treachery and consumed by jealousy, is driven to murderous lengths.

A sinister and vindictive plot plants the seeds of doubt to corrupt a pure and honest love, with devastating consequences.

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Shakespeare’s Will

A play that looked fairly interesting when I first read about it, Shakespeare’s Will is apparently a story of Anne Hathaway coping with Shakespeare’s death, and the information left in his last will and testament. One woman play. Stars Seana McKenna, who I last saw in Taming of the Shew.

Synopsis: On the even of William Shakespeare’s funeral, a solitary woman considers the poet’s last will and testament. What emerges is the fascinating story of Anne Hathaway, wife to the world’s greatest playwright - and a woman hiding dark sorrows of her own.

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The Blonde, The Brunette, and the Vengeful Redhead

This play is returning from last year’s lineup. Apparently, it was unbearably hilarious, and so they brought it back. I’ve always struggled to believe this, since the last play that I saw Lucy Peacock in was Macbeth, where she played Lady M. And her performance was scary. She was so evil. Synopsis: An adulterous husband, a meddlesome neighbour and a dropped ice-cream cone are among the circumstances that combine to shatter the life of suburban housewife Rhonda Russell.

In this acclaimed Australian play, Rhonda’s loss of control ricochets through the lives of seven different characters - all portrayed by the same performer.

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The Odyssey

A play inspired by that minivan Homer rented. While I was never able to bring myself to read the copy that I borrowed from Josh once upon a time, I figure I should be able to stomach a stage adaptation for it. But, now I wont get to see it.

Synopsis: Matching wits with gods and conquering unspeakable terrors, Odysseus will stop at nothing to reach his island home. Nobel Prize-winning author Derek Walcott fuses the rich traditions of the Caribbean into an ingenious modern retelling of one of the greatest epics of the western world.

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It is a shame that they do not make the plays more accessible to kids who may be at university. Oh well. Maybe the residences will have another one of those trips to Stratford to see a play (hopefully Lear), and then I can kill two birds with one stone. I get to see Lear, and I get a ride home for the weekend.

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I cannot believe some people.

If you have Facebook, type his name into the Search. You will get groups pouring out with hate messages about this kid. Some of them are angry at him for what he did, others are simply making fun of him.

The irony is, this is probably the shit that he put up with in high school and university that ended with him killing 32 of his peers. Maybe if people were not such jackasses, they would:

1. Discover that by being complete dicks, they are only furthering the problem among their peers. They are fueling this kind of behaviour in other kids.

2. They should devote their energy to mourning and consoling those who lost love ones, including Cho family.

And, something that is extremely interesting and shows how fucking ignorant people are is that the news outlets and his supposed friends and roommates do not even know his fucking name. His first name is not Cho. It is his last name. Seung-Hui is his given name, while Cho is his family name. For example, his sister’s name is Cho Sun-Kyung.

It reminds me of this season of 24, where the American kid keeps calling Ahmed by an incorrect prononciation, and he says “You call yourself my friend? You don’t even know how to say my name.”

You’ve got all these people referring to him as “Cho” as if that was his first name. People are so fucking stupid sometimes.

Jack Thompson, a Miami-based attorney, has always been an enemy of the gaming industry and gamers. Many dislike his outrageous theories that gaming breeds psychopath killers. The recent shootings at Virginia Tech have brought Jack out of hiding once more, and he is showing off his skills as a massacre chaser.

Trying to understand what is going on in the mind of Jack Thompson would be like trying to control hurricane winds by snapping your fingers. The man is the embodiment of foolishness and tactlessness.

The recent shootings at the Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University by Seung-Hui Cho resulted in the death of 32 of his schoolmates and educators. And, as is par for the course as far is Thompson is concerned, the Florida lawyer chooses once again to piggy-back his anti-game advocation off of a horrible tragedy.

It is not my intent to slander Jack Thompson for his attacks on video games. In his mind, perhaps he is doing something virtuous. And perhaps we - as gamers - are simply annoyed and enraged that someone is trying to take away something we love. We are reacting defensively as anyone would. Whether it is a child being told he cannot have any more sweets, or a couple knowing that they have to budget and cut back to support their family, we are not happy campers.

But is that what we should really be focusing on? It does not matter what Jack Thompson is fighting against. The way he is doing it is wrong. It is tactless, and he seems to have no regard for the cause at all, no regard for the victims of these massacres, and no regard for the dignity of every single person involved in his wild accusations.

No. Instead Thompson appears to take pride in the glory of the battle, the thrill of the hunt, and the inevitable victory he sees at the end of it all. But what he is doing is wrong on so many levels. I say this not as a gamer, but as a concerned citizen.

Why does Thompson do what he does? Is he trying to be a hero? Is he trying to protect all of us from our own destructive tendencies? On the surface, this would appear to be his motives. He focuses on the tragedies of others so that he can ensure they will not happen again. But if he is trying to protect innocent families, and steer gamers away from becoming ‘violent psychopaths’ through their favourite hobby, then he is pursuing the wrong method.

If you are trying to get someone to diet, you do not insult their weight. No one working in a fitness centre or weight loss clinic will look at their client and yell, “Hey Fatty! Fatty, fat, fat, fat, fatcakes!” It is ludicrous. How is that helpful? How is that going to get you close enough to the people you are trying to help?

This is what I do not understand about Jack Thompson. If he truly cared about the damage that video games do, he would be trying to convince and rehabilitate the gamers. But instead, he refers to us as ‘knuckleheads’. He refers to our hobby as ‘mental masturbation’. He calls us ‘pixelantes’.

If you are trying to win gamers over, you are making a big mistake by trying to belittle and degrade all of us. As a collective, we do not take your brand of criticism very well.

As a result of this, it seems clear that Jack Thompson’s intents are not to make the situation better. If it was, he would not have made enemies of everyone in the gaming industry. Instead, it seems that Thompson thrives on the publicity that surrounds these events. The media circus. And as a result, he is - in many ways - like the deranged psychopaths who engage in these school shootings. They kill dozens of people, and become instant celebrities in the media spotlight. And for those who are already depressed or suicidal, is there any better send off for your life than a media circus?

So Jack, please, do us all a favour and stop. Just stop. You are taking the memories of good people who were murdered, and you are dragging them through the mud. Enough is enough. Stop your ridiculous tirades, and just retire and live in obscurity with whatever small fragment of your dignity that may still be intact.

Check out these links for more information on the shooting: Were video games to blame for massacre? Be sure to read the article, and watch the attached video clip with Jack Thompson being interviewed on Chris Matthew’s Hardball. You will notice that Jack executes his typical tactic of jumping from Point A to Point Z, without filling in the interim regions with proof.

Family of Virginia Tech gunman feeling ‘helpless, hopeless, lost’ An article about the Virginia Tech shooter, Seung-Hui Cho, and his life since immigrating to America. Please take note that most people who knew him expressed that he had social issues, and may have been autistic, but his parents did not seek help for him.

ABC Good Morning America An interview with Seung-Hui Cho’s roommates. The question that the interviewer asks at the end, “Is there anything you would have done differently as far as reaching out to him?” seems a bit insensitive. Is she trying to get these kids to think it was their fault? “Yeah. Maybe if you had tried a bit harder, those 32 people would still be alive.”

Talk about tactless.

Seung-Hui Cho Manifesto The video sent to NBC by the shooter.